So all my social media is a buzz with NaNoWriMo things.
Some good.
Some bad.
A lot of confusion and indifference.
Personally, I am a fan of National Novel Writing Month. It gives me a social community of like-minded individuals in my city. Most of these people I wouldn't have met without the NaNoWriMo meetups and stuff, so I can't complain about that. I also love NaNo because, well, it brings out the super competitive streak in me. I'm ALWAYS competing with other people, to get published, to get noticed, you know, the nature of writing. But NaNo brings out the competition in me even more, I see these word counts climbing and I want to get mine there, too. I want to have my word count meter thing way up there, over 10k, over 20k and so on. It's excellent visual motivation to see my friends and writing buddies climbing that ladder and I want to be there, too!
However, I also know that NaNoWriMo is not gonna produce a perfect piece of work right out of the gate. There's a lot of revising needed after the fact. Especially when you set a huge goal for yourself.
I'm an over achiever, I never settle for 50k words. I shoot for more, and I usually achieve what I aim for. So that motivation is an excellent thing.
I write every day, there's no denying that. I write and revise and work very hard to create stories with the intent of publication one day. I also write for Zombie Training Magazine. I find that NaNoWriMo is an additional excuse to write every day for a month. It makes it a habit to write daily, and that is what so many writers need -- motivation and the suggestion of a habit.
So yes, I am participating in NaNoWriMo. 2012 marks my 4th NaNo, and my first 2 Camp NaNo sessions.
I also finished a spec TV script during Script Frenzy but didn't validate it, and I have written a spec film script last month.
All of this stems from the habit of writing every day that NaNo instilled in me 4 years ago.
So, for those of you about to write? I salute you.
Love,
Kai
Kai Kiriyama lives in Calgary with her pet snake Rhaegar and her laptop.
You can find her on the NaNoWriMo forums under the name KaliYuga.
You can read Kai's Zombie articles at www.zombietraining.com
Kai's Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
Kai's email: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
Tumblr: thekiriyamaheir.tumblr.com
Thoughts on writing. Short stories. Swearing and ranting. All at your fingertips.
Showing posts with label film. Show all posts
Showing posts with label film. Show all posts
Friday, November 2, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Food for Thought...
I'm not usually one for giving advice, because everyone does, but I have a few thoughts about motivation and meeting goals. This is especially important for all you creative types out there because it's really the attitude that you have going into and on with what you're doing that changes your outcome.
You wanna get anywhere in life?
Remove the words "maybe", "if," "perhaps", and "aspiring" from your vocabulary. Whatever you're doing will happen when it's meant to.
You are NOT an "aspiring" anything.
YOU ARE A writer/musician/singer/actor/dancer/gumshoe/vigilante/superhero/philanthropist/evil cyborg overlord sent from the future to enslave mankind.
The word "aspiring" suggests that you're not sure of yourself and that you're still not fully committed to your craft, whatever that may be.
Now, I know that removing these words from your vocabulary is difficult. I'm not gonna lie, it took me almost 10 years to completely remove the word "aspiring" from my description of myself. But I'm not "aspiring" to be a writer anymore.
I AM A WRITER.
I am a monthly contributor to Zombie Training Magazine. I do some freelance work on the side. I write my own blog, maintain said blog (although lately it's been more sparse than I normally like) and I write short stories, novels and screenplays that I am working towards getting published.
I write. A lot. Therefore, I AM a writer.
If I am "aspiring" towards anything, then I am "aspiring" towards getting paid for my work, which is what happens when you get published. Or whatever it is that you do. (I write these ideas from a writer's perspective.)
Do you write music and play it? Then you ARE a musician.
Do you act? Then you ARE an actor.
Have you been sent back in time by Skynet (or similar future establishment) to enslave humanity? Then you ARE an evil cyborg overlord sent from the future to enslave mankind.
You're not "aspiring" anymore. You have become what you've wanted to become. So get rid of that damn word already.
Like I said, it took me almost 10 years to get rid of it myself, and sometimes, I admit that I still use it to refer to myself when talking with new people or filling out online questionnaires, but that's beside the point. Get rid of it. Once you fully commit yourself to what you are doing, and stop using the word "aspiring" things will become much easier for you in your head.
Now you're probably complaining that you have to work a "real job" to pay your bills and stuff. But that's all it is: a means to pay your bills UNTIL YOU ARE PAID FOR DOING YOUR CRAFT.
There is no "maybe" or "if" about it. No "perhaps". It WILL happen when it's MEANT to. If you have to work a crappy burger-flipping job for ten years to put yourself through college and to pay your bills until you can become that artist who sells billions of dollars of art, then so be it. Take away the doubt of the words "if" and "maybe" along with the soul-crushing word "aspiring" and it doesn't seem so bad.
You are working your "real job" to pay your bills. Nothing more. You ARE a writer, (or whatever) and you WILL make a living off it when it's time. Hell, stop referring to your burger-flipping job as your "real job". That isn't your REAL job,. Your REAL job is whatever craft you are dedicating yourself to, be it writing, music, film, art, enslaving humanity, you name it, that is your REAL JOB. So consider your soul-crushing burger-flipping job to be your 'day job' or your 'part-time' job or your 'for now job', but stop referring to it as your REAL job. Because it's not.
Give yourself reminders if you must. Leave yourself notes, or a note on a post-it stuck to your mirror, or the fridge. Whatever it takes. A daily affirmation isn't always a bad thing.
Just remember:
I AM A [whatever your craft is]. I work my day job FOR NOW, to pay my bills until the day that my craft will do that FOR ME. IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN IT'S MEANT TO.
Believe me, you'll thank yourself for this on the days where everything seems bleak and sucky.
And all you have to do is stop using the word "aspiring."
Kai Kiriyama is a freelance writer and a monthly contributor to Zombie Training Magazine (www.zombietrainging.com) She has several novels on the go awaiting publication and is working on writing scripts for film and television.
Kai lives in the frozen North known as Canada with her laptop and her pet snake Rhaegar for company.
You can contact Kai through one of the following methods:
Email: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
Tumblr: thekiriyamaheir.tumblr.com
Facebook: facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
You wanna get anywhere in life?
Remove the words "maybe", "if," "perhaps", and "aspiring" from your vocabulary. Whatever you're doing will happen when it's meant to.
You are NOT an "aspiring" anything.
YOU ARE A writer/musician/singer/actor/dancer/gumshoe/vigilante/superhero/philanthropist/evil cyborg overlord sent from the future to enslave mankind.
The word "aspiring" suggests that you're not sure of yourself and that you're still not fully committed to your craft, whatever that may be.
Now, I know that removing these words from your vocabulary is difficult. I'm not gonna lie, it took me almost 10 years to completely remove the word "aspiring" from my description of myself. But I'm not "aspiring" to be a writer anymore.
I AM A WRITER.
I am a monthly contributor to Zombie Training Magazine. I do some freelance work on the side. I write my own blog, maintain said blog (although lately it's been more sparse than I normally like) and I write short stories, novels and screenplays that I am working towards getting published.
I write. A lot. Therefore, I AM a writer.
If I am "aspiring" towards anything, then I am "aspiring" towards getting paid for my work, which is what happens when you get published. Or whatever it is that you do. (I write these ideas from a writer's perspective.)
Do you write music and play it? Then you ARE a musician.
Do you act? Then you ARE an actor.
Have you been sent back in time by Skynet (or similar future establishment) to enslave humanity? Then you ARE an evil cyborg overlord sent from the future to enslave mankind.
You're not "aspiring" anymore. You have become what you've wanted to become. So get rid of that damn word already.
Like I said, it took me almost 10 years to get rid of it myself, and sometimes, I admit that I still use it to refer to myself when talking with new people or filling out online questionnaires, but that's beside the point. Get rid of it. Once you fully commit yourself to what you are doing, and stop using the word "aspiring" things will become much easier for you in your head.
Now you're probably complaining that you have to work a "real job" to pay your bills and stuff. But that's all it is: a means to pay your bills UNTIL YOU ARE PAID FOR DOING YOUR CRAFT.
There is no "maybe" or "if" about it. No "perhaps". It WILL happen when it's MEANT to. If you have to work a crappy burger-flipping job for ten years to put yourself through college and to pay your bills until you can become that artist who sells billions of dollars of art, then so be it. Take away the doubt of the words "if" and "maybe" along with the soul-crushing word "aspiring" and it doesn't seem so bad.
You are working your "real job" to pay your bills. Nothing more. You ARE a writer, (or whatever) and you WILL make a living off it when it's time. Hell, stop referring to your burger-flipping job as your "real job". That isn't your REAL job,. Your REAL job is whatever craft you are dedicating yourself to, be it writing, music, film, art, enslaving humanity, you name it, that is your REAL JOB. So consider your soul-crushing burger-flipping job to be your 'day job' or your 'part-time' job or your 'for now job', but stop referring to it as your REAL job. Because it's not.
Give yourself reminders if you must. Leave yourself notes, or a note on a post-it stuck to your mirror, or the fridge. Whatever it takes. A daily affirmation isn't always a bad thing.
Just remember:
I AM A [whatever your craft is]. I work my day job FOR NOW, to pay my bills until the day that my craft will do that FOR ME. IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN IT'S MEANT TO.
Believe me, you'll thank yourself for this on the days where everything seems bleak and sucky.
And all you have to do is stop using the word "aspiring."
Kai Kiriyama is a freelance writer and a monthly contributor to Zombie Training Magazine (www.zombietrainging.com) She has several novels on the go awaiting publication and is working on writing scripts for film and television.
Kai lives in the frozen North known as Canada with her laptop and her pet snake Rhaegar for company.
You can contact Kai through one of the following methods:
Email: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
Tumblr: thekiriyamaheir.tumblr.com
Facebook: facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
Monday, September 17, 2012
Singularity
So it might come as a shock to you, especially if you don't know me personally, that I have just undergone a breakup. I was with my now-former partner for 4 and a half years. That's a long time and a lot of experiences to throw away, in my opinion. But I think that it was for the best. In retrospect, having taken that step back, I can now say that the relationship had grown unhealthy and that if there was any hope of fixing the problems that preceded the break-up, it would only come from taking the necessary steps of backing up and looking at things from an outside perspective.
It sucks, going through a break up. There's no two ways about that. Sometimes, I wonder if it's harder for women than men, considering that I'm a girl and I swear to you, I felt like I was gonna die for a while there. Or at least shrivel up like a fish out of water from dehydration because of all the tears. (Okay, so that part is a lie, I don't actually cry. I save my tears for entertainment. I cried like a little bitch when Dale died in The Walking Dead, and the season opener of Doctor Who made me cry, too.) I tend to let my emotions get the better of me and yes, I did consider apologizing and taking him back and trying again. But I let those emotions go, and tried very hard to look at things from a rational, logical point of view.
It's been 3 weeks as of this writing since we split and I admit that I still wake up sometimes wondering when he's gonna get home, or curled up with my arm around my pillow only to wake up and realize that yes, it is indeed a pillow that I've been spooning (and occasionally, drooling on.) I'm still a little bummed out over the whole thing, though the initial depression and doubts that I suffered have lessened significantly.
On the other hand, I have noticed a lot of things that have changed in my life since the break up. I've gotten a HELL of a lot more productive. I have filled my days with things that hadn't been happening in the last few months of the relationship. I'm writing every day again. Lots, actually. I've picked up crocheting and sewing again. I'm prepping for a new business venture and am creating amazing products for my current business venture. I'm editing my writing (and we all know how much I hate that!) I'm back writing scripts and am working on several specs that I fully intent to query out within the next few months. I have secret projects happening. I've lost weight, and inches, off of my body. I feel less stressed out about everything. I'm still not sleeping most nights, but hey, you win some, you lose some.
I have moved beyond the point of feeling like I need to fulfill the expectations of someone else. If I feel like staying up all night writing in bed, with the lights on, listening to my Devil's Carnival soundtrack on repeat without headphones (or doing the same things but instead of writing, crocheting because it's more mindless than trying to make proper words at 5 in the morning on no sleep) I can. If I feel like staying in my pajamas all day and eating nothing but microwave popcorn I can. Granted, I tended to stay in my pajamas all day if I wasn't doing anything anyway, but now I feel like there are no expectations. I don't have to have dinner at 5 p.m. every day. I don't have to go to bed at a normal hour. (Not like I do, can we get a hello for the incorrigible insomnia?) I don't have to share my video games or my computer and I certainly don't need to allot time to spend with the significant other. I have a Thor poster on my wall that I picked out myself, I have my favorite art pieces hanging on my bedroom walls. I don't have to ask opinions or permission to put something else up, or to take something down. I dyed my hair pink and purple. (Although, I used to do that anyway, but had to stop due to work not liking it.)
I feel like I have gained back of the old spark that I had lost as my relationship had deteriorated beyond the point of repair. This makes it sound like my ex was to blame for all the unhappiness in my life. That's not true. Situations arose where there was nothing either of us could do to make things happy, but that is neither here nor there. The relationship had just run its course. I'm just glad that we hadn't tied the knot when we were planning to because the break up wouldn't have just been as simple as it (kind of) was. I just feel like there is now a sense of self that has returned to me since breaking up with my partner. I feel like all the problems we had during our relationship had kind of put a stopper on my whimsy.
I know that a relationship, especially a long-term relationship, is about compromise. You have to share your life, and share your living space with this other person. You share your body, your soul, your home, your life... it's a lot of compromise. And that's the way it should be. I felt like there was no compromise, there were just changes that weren't always for the better.
Do I regret the relationship? No. Have I grown as a person for it? Yes, I think so. Do I know more clearly what I want in a partner now? Oh hell yes.
And that's a good thing.
I do admit, though, that I have a Queen size bed and I've grown accustomed to curling up against the wall, so there's more than half the bed just going to waste. I'm more than willing to let someone into my life to fill that other side of the bed. I'm just warning you though, I tend to hog the blankets, so for that, you're on your own.
Kai Kiriyama is a weirdo. She's still working towards publication of her novels and her scripts, but she is a current contributor to Zombie Training Magazine, which you can find at www.zombietraining.com.
Kai lives in the Frozen North with her pet snake, Rhaegar.
You can find her on Twitter at: @thekiriyamaheir
You can email her at: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
You can catch her on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
And she has a tumblr at: thekiriyamaheir.tumblr.com
It sucks, going through a break up. There's no two ways about that. Sometimes, I wonder if it's harder for women than men, considering that I'm a girl and I swear to you, I felt like I was gonna die for a while there. Or at least shrivel up like a fish out of water from dehydration because of all the tears. (Okay, so that part is a lie, I don't actually cry. I save my tears for entertainment. I cried like a little bitch when Dale died in The Walking Dead, and the season opener of Doctor Who made me cry, too.) I tend to let my emotions get the better of me and yes, I did consider apologizing and taking him back and trying again. But I let those emotions go, and tried very hard to look at things from a rational, logical point of view.
It's been 3 weeks as of this writing since we split and I admit that I still wake up sometimes wondering when he's gonna get home, or curled up with my arm around my pillow only to wake up and realize that yes, it is indeed a pillow that I've been spooning (and occasionally, drooling on.) I'm still a little bummed out over the whole thing, though the initial depression and doubts that I suffered have lessened significantly.
On the other hand, I have noticed a lot of things that have changed in my life since the break up. I've gotten a HELL of a lot more productive. I have filled my days with things that hadn't been happening in the last few months of the relationship. I'm writing every day again. Lots, actually. I've picked up crocheting and sewing again. I'm prepping for a new business venture and am creating amazing products for my current business venture. I'm editing my writing (and we all know how much I hate that!) I'm back writing scripts and am working on several specs that I fully intent to query out within the next few months. I have secret projects happening. I've lost weight, and inches, off of my body. I feel less stressed out about everything. I'm still not sleeping most nights, but hey, you win some, you lose some.
I have moved beyond the point of feeling like I need to fulfill the expectations of someone else. If I feel like staying up all night writing in bed, with the lights on, listening to my Devil's Carnival soundtrack on repeat without headphones (or doing the same things but instead of writing, crocheting because it's more mindless than trying to make proper words at 5 in the morning on no sleep) I can. If I feel like staying in my pajamas all day and eating nothing but microwave popcorn I can. Granted, I tended to stay in my pajamas all day if I wasn't doing anything anyway, but now I feel like there are no expectations. I don't have to have dinner at 5 p.m. every day. I don't have to go to bed at a normal hour. (Not like I do, can we get a hello for the incorrigible insomnia?) I don't have to share my video games or my computer and I certainly don't need to allot time to spend with the significant other. I have a Thor poster on my wall that I picked out myself, I have my favorite art pieces hanging on my bedroom walls. I don't have to ask opinions or permission to put something else up, or to take something down. I dyed my hair pink and purple. (Although, I used to do that anyway, but had to stop due to work not liking it.)
I feel like I have gained back of the old spark that I had lost as my relationship had deteriorated beyond the point of repair. This makes it sound like my ex was to blame for all the unhappiness in my life. That's not true. Situations arose where there was nothing either of us could do to make things happy, but that is neither here nor there. The relationship had just run its course. I'm just glad that we hadn't tied the knot when we were planning to because the break up wouldn't have just been as simple as it (kind of) was. I just feel like there is now a sense of self that has returned to me since breaking up with my partner. I feel like all the problems we had during our relationship had kind of put a stopper on my whimsy.
I know that a relationship, especially a long-term relationship, is about compromise. You have to share your life, and share your living space with this other person. You share your body, your soul, your home, your life... it's a lot of compromise. And that's the way it should be. I felt like there was no compromise, there were just changes that weren't always for the better.
Do I regret the relationship? No. Have I grown as a person for it? Yes, I think so. Do I know more clearly what I want in a partner now? Oh hell yes.
And that's a good thing.
I do admit, though, that I have a Queen size bed and I've grown accustomed to curling up against the wall, so there's more than half the bed just going to waste. I'm more than willing to let someone into my life to fill that other side of the bed. I'm just warning you though, I tend to hog the blankets, so for that, you're on your own.
Kai Kiriyama is a weirdo. She's still working towards publication of her novels and her scripts, but she is a current contributor to Zombie Training Magazine, which you can find at www.zombietraining.com.
Kai lives in the Frozen North with her pet snake, Rhaegar.
You can find her on Twitter at: @thekiriyamaheir
You can email her at: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
You can catch her on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
And she has a tumblr at: thekiriyamaheir.tumblr.com
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The Princess and the Punk
DISCLAIMER:
Before I begin, I'm being ranty, opinionated and probably relatively misogynistic. In real life I am a woman, I have gone through all sorts of ego busting, self-doubt, self-hate, hating on everyone else, low self-esteem and pretty much any negative aspect you can throw at a girl in general. I'm not writing this to pick on anyone. I'm writing this as a commentary on the way I view the media since I'm working my way into it slowly. Feel free to argue with me in the comments or wherever you feel most comfortable contacting me. I'm cool with that. I want to see your opinions, read your thoughts etc. I don't care if you're male, female, transgendered, alien, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, Atlantian, zombified, rich, poor, famous, obscure, or any combination of adjectives you care to throw at me. I'm observing, and commenting. And I have no problem in arguing with you 'till we're both blue in the face. However, I will not tolerate demonizing or invalidating my opinions, so let's keep it civil. Cheers.
Now, read on.
*****
I love the fact that there are such eager stereotypes that women in [the media] are thrown into. In my opinion, it boils down to three or four distinct types that are essentially broad generalizations, if not outright Tropes. There's the Princess, the Sweetheart, the Diva, and the Punk.
I find that these broad generalizations happen regardless of what you're doing. You're a woman, you're in any form of media and you're pretty much typecast. There are probably a hundred variations and sub-classes but for now, I want to focus on these four major stereotypes.
First off, there's the Princess. This is the golden child, the royalty of the media world. This is the girl who can do no wrong, and if she does, there will be another chance, another book, another film, another sex tape, etc ad nauseum. I find that this is where the up and coming stars fall once they "make it big". Kirsten Dunst, Reese Witherspoon, Lindsey Lohan, Drew Barrymore and so on and so on. They have all been in this spotlight at one point or another. They are (or were) the royalty of the silver screen for a time. These are the women who make headlines and are on the cover of every rag mag forever -- regardless of what sort of crazy fabricated drama is happening -- and are still making movies/books/music whatever. The Princesses are the cash cows, the golden calves, the most sought-after young talent who will annoy you forever. The Princesses will go one of two ways, typically: they either stay in Royalty mode, appearing to make headlines when they get another deal, or the turn into Divas. Princesses who remain Princesses are the women who will show up in a major blockbuster five years after we've forgotten about her without the typical downward spiral that we (as an audience) come to expect. Scarlett Johannsen is prime example of movie royalty. Emma Stone is a current Princess as well, in my opinion. They are sought after by movie executives and producers and star in amazingly big roles consistently without the drama of a drug binge or whatever sort of drama you're likely to see on the internet or in the rag mags. Very much royalty in that sense.
Then there's the Sweetheart. These are women who are very much like the Princess, but are generally super bubbly and cute. Some people call them "Manic Pixie girls" which I can now understand. Zooey Deschanel is the biggest perpetrator of the Sweetheart stereotype. I use the term stereotype as there is no better way to describe this. I'm sure all of the women I mention are decent humans, but for the sake of argument, these are all stereotypes that we've been given to digest. Sweethearts are the ones who show up on talk shows and are all manners and soft spoken or bubbly. Exactly what you think a 'Sweetheart' would be if you called your friend that. These are the women who are expected to be super nice all the time forever and who rarely hit tabloids for fabricated drama (unless there's a divorce/romance involved) and even then, it's usually fabricated or blown out of proportion.
Divas, on the other hand, are the women who you EXPECT to be on the cover of tabloids. Any Princess can turn into a Diva by having a fit. Diva is not used in the old-school term here, more in the way that they will throw a fit if everything isn't perfect. These are the women who can't handle the Princess lifestyle and tend to end up photographed drunk, doing drugs and generally being bad for publicity. This is not to be confused with Punks, which I will get to in a moment. I find that anyone who falls into the Diva category is someone who either shouldn't be famous but still is, is only famous for being rich/having a sex tape/ etc, or is so over the top that you can't help but allow them to be famous for whatever they're doing. You can figure out who's a Diva int his sense on your own.
Finally, we have the Punks. These are women who stand up and out and will not be conformed by wearing pink and relying on men/fate/whatever to dictate their shit (within reason of remaining in their current profession.) Although, I suppose that with today's technology and things like Kickstarter, the true Punk women are taking a lot more control over things. My biggest examples of successful Punk women are Amanda Palmer and Avril Lavigne. These are women who do what they want, when they want and give a big ol' middle finger to the expectations of the media and have made a successful career for themselves.
Having said all of this, I get to the overall point of this rant.
I find that women who fall under the Princess or Sweetheart category are typically more successful than Punks. Divas are successful for reasons beyond my worldly comprehension and I assume black magic is involved with anyone who ends up like Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears.
I can respect the women who fall under the Princess or Sweetheart category. I really can. In my opinion, some of my favorite female actors fall into one of those two categories. And I applaud their success.
Now the question is: do you HAVE to start out as a Princess or a Sweetheart to make it anywhere these days?
I'm definitely not a Princess. I'm a genuinely nice person in real life, but I do very much appreciate the word "fuck" in everyday conversation. Does that make me less of a Sweetheart? Probably. I love action movies. I love fight scenes, I love "guy" movies. I love to read books that involve adventure and fighting and pillaging. I'm turned off my chick lit or chick flicks or romance. Hell, I don't even read erotica. I listen to punk music, and heavy metal, and I will happily drink beer over a Cosmopolitan any day and yet, I can cook, clean, sew, crochet and generally run a house like any good wife should be able to do.
But what I write is definitely not what you'd expect from a Princess or a Sweetheart.
I march to the beat of my own drum (and that drum typically sounds like a rowing beat on a Viking longship) and I don't let the opinions of the general public get to me. I wear my hair short and would rather pull on a pair of jeans than a dress and flip off the camera instead of blowing a kiss to the photographer.
But is my Punk nature going to make me second fiddle to the literary Princesses? Is my Vikings-versus-Aliens intentional B-movie going to be rejected in exchange for a Sappy Romance Drivel B-movie?
I'll never know until I try, but right now, it feels like there's very little hope for women who refuse to play the Tropes,
Never afraid of a bit of controversy, Kai lives in Canada in a stuffy room with her laptop and too much caffeine. She spends her days performing menial and mundane tasks that her so-called real-life demands and spends her nights not sleeping due to chronic insomnia.
Kai is also a contributor to Zombie Training Magazine. www.zombietraining.com
Kai loves to chat (and she loves a challenge). If you wanna get in touch with her, you can do so at the following places:
Email: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
Facebook: facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Why I hate Children
WARNING: This is a rant. I am pretty mad right now. I am planning to cuss in this one. You've been warned.
All right, so it's not really children that I hate. I can deal with them in small amounts, and usually the children I (am forced to) socialize with are relatively well-behaved.
It's the PARENTS who I wish to destroy in all forms of violent and gratuitous manners.
I went to see Brave tonight with my sister. (She is my youngest sister and is 15.) What a great movie! It would have been more than great but we decided to go on a Tuesday night. At 7:15. AND THE THEATRE WAS FILLED WITH CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 5.
Who the ever-lovin' fuck takes their toddlers out to a movie at 7 on a Tuesday night?
Obviously every douchebaggy parent in the city.
I was perfectly willing to accept the fact that there were children in the theatre. I wasn't sure what to expect from another Disney-Pixar movie (except that it was guaranteed that I would cry at least once during the movie.) I certainly didn't expect there to be as many families with young children there as there were! A family with two very young children (I'm guessing that they were both under 4 years old and the younger of the two was 18 months) sat in front of us.
I didn't swear about that fact, the baby was really adorable.
Until about 30 minutes into the movie when this kid wouldn't stop fussing and crying.
Now, this is a 2-parent family. Mom and Dad were both sitting there, with both kids and one of them was screaming and crying. Well, Mom was an obese woman and she didn't do a damn thing. She didn't get off her fat ass and take care of this crying kid. No, instead, she loudly told her (husband?) to take the kid out of the theatre after he had been crying for TEN FUCKING MINUTES.
Ten minutes?? Really? You couldn't get off your ass to take your screaming kid out of the theatre so that you didn't disturb anyone else? And then you make your male-thing take the screaming child outside? You lazy bitch.
Here's the kicker to this story: THE DAD COMES BACK ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER AND SAYS THAT HE CAN'T CALM THE KID DOWN!!
So now we're treated to the Dad loudly insisting that the kid won't calm down, the kid is STILL FUCKING CRYING and I can't hear the whispers of the Scottish characters on the screen because of the bullshit caterwauling this damn kid is making.
I don't go out a lot. I don't have a huge budget for going out and I usually spend what little extra money I have on books or sometimes on meals out with friends or on beer. When I DO get to go out, it's a huge deal and a real treat for me. So to have the first movie that I've seen in theatres since Toy Story 3 (we saw the Avengers in theares, but that was a birthday party, so I don't really count it as a movie night because we budgeted for my birthday party to be a movie and dinner) ruined by a screaming child does not sit well with me.
I was about to say something but the kid finally shut up, so I was relieved of that duty, thankfully.
But this same lazy bitch is such a terrible parent that when we were getting up to leave the theatre (well, when THEY were) she just stood there and yelled at her children until they listened to her. She didn't try to be polite, she didn't try to be a good parent. Hell, she wasn't even responsible. She just stood there yelling at her hyper, screaming toddlers as other people were trying to leave.
Fuck it, not my problem.
When the credits finished (because almost every movie has a little scene of awesome after the credits nowadays, and Brave was no exception) we got up and all had to go to the bathroom. So my sister and I head into the ladies room.
Lo and behold, there is a Cineplex staff member using the washroom. She obviously wasn't on a break as she was trying her damnedest to hustle out of the bathroom after washing her hands but no. Some dumb blonde bitch of a mother (wearing booty shorts and toting two children, again probably both under the age of 4) starts harassing this poor girl!
"Don't you clean these bathrooms? You should talk to your manager! These counters are all wet and small children get soaked when we have to wash their hands! I'm going to speak to your manager about this! Why can't you people wipe this up?"
Fuck's sake, you stupid blonde bimbo! Why don't YOU wipe the fucking water up if it's such a problem? Or, you know, if you were a better parent you would hold your kid up to the sink in a manner that wouldn't get them wet in the first place.
Most public washrooms that don't have doors (like at most malls here, and almost all the theatres) don't have paper towels anymore. Waste reduction and blah blah blah. So how the fuck do you expect anyone to wipe the counters every five fucking minutes?
And this poor girl was just trying to pee and wash her hands so that she could get back to work. There's no need for you to hassle her! Fuck.
I don't understand why these young mothers think that they are so entitled to whatever the fuck they want. Oh good for you, you had unprotected sex and now you have reproduced. Fuck you. Do you want a fucking cookie? ANYONE can have a goddamn child. It's not that difficult to procreate. Why the fuck are you so self-entitled? Why are you such a goddamn prick?
And why the fuck are you so inconsiderate towards everyone else around you?
Y'know what? Fuck it. I don't want to know.
What I WANT is for all of these self-entitled bitches to fuck right off and crawl back into whatever fucking suburb they crawled out of because frankly? I don't give a shit about you. I don't give a shit about your children. You're the inconsiderate bitch who is ruining my movie-date. You're the self-entitled prick who blames everything on everyone else.
You're not a special goddamn snowflake just 'cause you squeezed out another living being from between your flabby, self-righteous thighs. You haven't birthed the next King Arthur.
You're just another sad sack of a human being, a waste of skin filled with hot air and bullshit and honestly, you don't deserve to have these kids in public.
So kindly crawl back into your rich, white-privilege, suburb-friendly, penis envying, gas guzzling car and let me at least have my one night out to myself without wanting to set the zombie apocalypse loose on the cinema and then rampage and kill you first.
Shit, there's definitely a reason why I prefer books over movies.
Kai Kiriyama is a self-righteous bitch in her own right. While she doesn't have kids of her own, she's taken her younger siblings out to movies when they were kids and not a blessed one of them was misbehaved.
Also, she regrets nothing.
Email her at thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com if you wanna complain.
And follow her on Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
She welcomes the backlash.
All right, so it's not really children that I hate. I can deal with them in small amounts, and usually the children I (am forced to) socialize with are relatively well-behaved.
It's the PARENTS who I wish to destroy in all forms of violent and gratuitous manners.
I went to see Brave tonight with my sister. (She is my youngest sister and is 15.) What a great movie! It would have been more than great but we decided to go on a Tuesday night. At 7:15. AND THE THEATRE WAS FILLED WITH CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 5.
Who the ever-lovin' fuck takes their toddlers out to a movie at 7 on a Tuesday night?
Obviously every douchebaggy parent in the city.
I was perfectly willing to accept the fact that there were children in the theatre. I wasn't sure what to expect from another Disney-Pixar movie (except that it was guaranteed that I would cry at least once during the movie.) I certainly didn't expect there to be as many families with young children there as there were! A family with two very young children (I'm guessing that they were both under 4 years old and the younger of the two was 18 months) sat in front of us.
I didn't swear about that fact, the baby was really adorable.
Until about 30 minutes into the movie when this kid wouldn't stop fussing and crying.
Now, this is a 2-parent family. Mom and Dad were both sitting there, with both kids and one of them was screaming and crying. Well, Mom was an obese woman and she didn't do a damn thing. She didn't get off her fat ass and take care of this crying kid. No, instead, she loudly told her (husband?) to take the kid out of the theatre after he had been crying for TEN FUCKING MINUTES.
Ten minutes?? Really? You couldn't get off your ass to take your screaming kid out of the theatre so that you didn't disturb anyone else? And then you make your male-thing take the screaming child outside? You lazy bitch.
Here's the kicker to this story: THE DAD COMES BACK ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER AND SAYS THAT HE CAN'T CALM THE KID DOWN!!
So now we're treated to the Dad loudly insisting that the kid won't calm down, the kid is STILL FUCKING CRYING and I can't hear the whispers of the Scottish characters on the screen because of the bullshit caterwauling this damn kid is making.
I don't go out a lot. I don't have a huge budget for going out and I usually spend what little extra money I have on books or sometimes on meals out with friends or on beer. When I DO get to go out, it's a huge deal and a real treat for me. So to have the first movie that I've seen in theatres since Toy Story 3 (we saw the Avengers in theares, but that was a birthday party, so I don't really count it as a movie night because we budgeted for my birthday party to be a movie and dinner) ruined by a screaming child does not sit well with me.
I was about to say something but the kid finally shut up, so I was relieved of that duty, thankfully.
But this same lazy bitch is such a terrible parent that when we were getting up to leave the theatre (well, when THEY were) she just stood there and yelled at her children until they listened to her. She didn't try to be polite, she didn't try to be a good parent. Hell, she wasn't even responsible. She just stood there yelling at her hyper, screaming toddlers as other people were trying to leave.
Fuck it, not my problem.
When the credits finished (because almost every movie has a little scene of awesome after the credits nowadays, and Brave was no exception) we got up and all had to go to the bathroom. So my sister and I head into the ladies room.
Lo and behold, there is a Cineplex staff member using the washroom. She obviously wasn't on a break as she was trying her damnedest to hustle out of the bathroom after washing her hands but no. Some dumb blonde bitch of a mother (wearing booty shorts and toting two children, again probably both under the age of 4) starts harassing this poor girl!
"Don't you clean these bathrooms? You should talk to your manager! These counters are all wet and small children get soaked when we have to wash their hands! I'm going to speak to your manager about this! Why can't you people wipe this up?"
Fuck's sake, you stupid blonde bimbo! Why don't YOU wipe the fucking water up if it's such a problem? Or, you know, if you were a better parent you would hold your kid up to the sink in a manner that wouldn't get them wet in the first place.
Most public washrooms that don't have doors (like at most malls here, and almost all the theatres) don't have paper towels anymore. Waste reduction and blah blah blah. So how the fuck do you expect anyone to wipe the counters every five fucking minutes?
And this poor girl was just trying to pee and wash her hands so that she could get back to work. There's no need for you to hassle her! Fuck.
I don't understand why these young mothers think that they are so entitled to whatever the fuck they want. Oh good for you, you had unprotected sex and now you have reproduced. Fuck you. Do you want a fucking cookie? ANYONE can have a goddamn child. It's not that difficult to procreate. Why the fuck are you so self-entitled? Why are you such a goddamn prick?
And why the fuck are you so inconsiderate towards everyone else around you?
Y'know what? Fuck it. I don't want to know.
What I WANT is for all of these self-entitled bitches to fuck right off and crawl back into whatever fucking suburb they crawled out of because frankly? I don't give a shit about you. I don't give a shit about your children. You're the inconsiderate bitch who is ruining my movie-date. You're the self-entitled prick who blames everything on everyone else.
You're not a special goddamn snowflake just 'cause you squeezed out another living being from between your flabby, self-righteous thighs. You haven't birthed the next King Arthur.
You're just another sad sack of a human being, a waste of skin filled with hot air and bullshit and honestly, you don't deserve to have these kids in public.
So kindly crawl back into your rich, white-privilege, suburb-friendly, penis envying, gas guzzling car and let me at least have my one night out to myself without wanting to set the zombie apocalypse loose on the cinema and then rampage and kill you first.
Shit, there's definitely a reason why I prefer books over movies.
Kai Kiriyama is a self-righteous bitch in her own right. While she doesn't have kids of her own, she's taken her younger siblings out to movies when they were kids and not a blessed one of them was misbehaved.
Also, she regrets nothing.
Email her at thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com if you wanna complain.
And follow her on Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
She welcomes the backlash.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Degrees, Diplomas, and Daydreaming
I got into an argument with a friend of mine recently.
Not so much of a surprise there, I argue with everyone. And I mean everyone. If you say something I think is dumb or incorrect, I'll argue with you. If you say something that I know is incorrect, I'll fight you harder. I'm a Gemini, and a Tiger in the Eastern Zodiac. It's just the way I am.
But I digress.
I got into an argument about whether having a degree in writing - whether for film or television or just literature in general - is an absolute necessity for making it in the writing world.
They think it is crucial that you go out and spend $30,000 or more and 4+ years on a piece of paper that says you are capable of writing fiction to a specific format.
I laughed at them.
Then I showed them my bookshelf. I have books from the same sort of classes, plus scripts for television and stage and film, as well as workbooks for literature. My collection is more succinct and to the point than the books this friend has for school.
I spent under $250 to acquire all of these things. I've read most of them at least twice. And I reference them when I'm looking for specific answers to things I'm unsure about.
Neither of us are published, so if that was your next question, no. At this point, I don't think either of us are closer than the other, so it's not like that's a factor either.
Am I a better writer? I think so. Why? Because I haven't had professors breathing down my neck for 4 years telling me how to write. I have found my own 'voice' in literature, and have picked up the format for screenwriting again after 10 years of neglect. I'm comfortable with how I write and I am comfortable with my stories. I know that this person in question can't say the same thing.
What I will concede to, however, is the hands-on. Personally, I wouldn't know the ass end of a camera from a chocolate bar, or some other sort of simile of equal ridiculousness. Well, okay, I know where to look into a camera, but I wouldn't be able to operate it with any level of proficiency. And that's okay. I can learn.
I think it's sad that we have put a price tag on the arts. at least on the things like writing that anyone should be able to do with a relative knowledge of story structure and grammar. Oscar Wilde didn't have a degree. Neither did Shakespeare.
I guess time will tell us who gets published first.
Cocky bitch. I'm gonna win that race.
Kai Kiriyama should know better than to write blogs under the influence of alcohol. She is currently having a mental breakdown and drinking beer. It's pretty amusing to watch.
As always, follow her on twitter @thekiriyamaheir
Or to argue with her through email, you can reach her at: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Not so much of a surprise there, I argue with everyone. And I mean everyone. If you say something I think is dumb or incorrect, I'll argue with you. If you say something that I know is incorrect, I'll fight you harder. I'm a Gemini, and a Tiger in the Eastern Zodiac. It's just the way I am.
But I digress.
I got into an argument about whether having a degree in writing - whether for film or television or just literature in general - is an absolute necessity for making it in the writing world.
They think it is crucial that you go out and spend $30,000 or more and 4+ years on a piece of paper that says you are capable of writing fiction to a specific format.
I laughed at them.
Then I showed them my bookshelf. I have books from the same sort of classes, plus scripts for television and stage and film, as well as workbooks for literature. My collection is more succinct and to the point than the books this friend has for school.
I spent under $250 to acquire all of these things. I've read most of them at least twice. And I reference them when I'm looking for specific answers to things I'm unsure about.
Neither of us are published, so if that was your next question, no. At this point, I don't think either of us are closer than the other, so it's not like that's a factor either.
Am I a better writer? I think so. Why? Because I haven't had professors breathing down my neck for 4 years telling me how to write. I have found my own 'voice' in literature, and have picked up the format for screenwriting again after 10 years of neglect. I'm comfortable with how I write and I am comfortable with my stories. I know that this person in question can't say the same thing.
What I will concede to, however, is the hands-on. Personally, I wouldn't know the ass end of a camera from a chocolate bar, or some other sort of simile of equal ridiculousness. Well, okay, I know where to look into a camera, but I wouldn't be able to operate it with any level of proficiency. And that's okay. I can learn.
I think it's sad that we have put a price tag on the arts. at least on the things like writing that anyone should be able to do with a relative knowledge of story structure and grammar. Oscar Wilde didn't have a degree. Neither did Shakespeare.
I guess time will tell us who gets published first.
Cocky bitch. I'm gonna win that race.
Kai Kiriyama should know better than to write blogs under the influence of alcohol. She is currently having a mental breakdown and drinking beer. It's pretty amusing to watch.
As always, follow her on twitter @thekiriyamaheir
Or to argue with her through email, you can reach her at: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Marvel vs. EVERYTHING, theoretical characters and pipe dreams
So, I love Marvel vs. Capcom. My team usually consists of Wolverine, Deadpool and Thor.
I really suck at the game. But that's beside the point.
Okay, so who else would I love to see in Marvel vs. EVERYTHING? I mean, shoot, with the releases of all these new characters and stuff, it's only a matter of time before we start seeing random people from random movies or something. (I'd play as Optimus Prime if I could!)
Who could I theoretically throw in there?
Why not the Boondock Saints?
My theoretical team would then be Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus and Deadpool. Or Thor, but I think Deadpool would work better with the Saints.
What powers would they have?
Well, if you are playing as Murphy, you can call Connor in and he'd drop a toilet on your enemy.
If you play as Connor, you can call Murphy in and Murphy would shoot everyone with the big Gatling gun in the supply room in the first movie.
If you're playing as your third person, and both brothers are alive, you could call them in and they'd fall through the ceiling on the fuckin' rope and shoot everyone as they spin. 9 well placed shots, as per Smecker.
If you get to level 5 and want to do a special, and both brothers are still alive, you call in Smecker, who yells "THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!" and then Il Duce appears on one side of the screen, the Saints on the other and they shoot at each other, catching their opponents in the crossfire.
And of course, if one brother dies, the other immediately gets called in, goes into berserker mode and is unstoppable for 30 seconds.
Wow.
I put WAY too much thought into this.
Kai Kiriyama is enjoying every minute of her insomnia. She's currently considering going to sleep. She lives in Canada and has no real friends. HA HA!
You can find her on twitter at: @thekiriyamaheir
Or email: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Or facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
I really suck at the game. But that's beside the point.
Okay, so who else would I love to see in Marvel vs. EVERYTHING? I mean, shoot, with the releases of all these new characters and stuff, it's only a matter of time before we start seeing random people from random movies or something. (I'd play as Optimus Prime if I could!)
Who could I theoretically throw in there?
Why not the Boondock Saints?
My theoretical team would then be Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus and Deadpool. Or Thor, but I think Deadpool would work better with the Saints.
What powers would they have?
Well, if you are playing as Murphy, you can call Connor in and he'd drop a toilet on your enemy.
If you play as Connor, you can call Murphy in and Murphy would shoot everyone with the big Gatling gun in the supply room in the first movie.
If you're playing as your third person, and both brothers are alive, you could call them in and they'd fall through the ceiling on the fuckin' rope and shoot everyone as they spin. 9 well placed shots, as per Smecker.
If you get to level 5 and want to do a special, and both brothers are still alive, you call in Smecker, who yells "THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!" and then Il Duce appears on one side of the screen, the Saints on the other and they shoot at each other, catching their opponents in the crossfire.
And of course, if one brother dies, the other immediately gets called in, goes into berserker mode and is unstoppable for 30 seconds.
Wow.
I put WAY too much thought into this.
Kai Kiriyama is enjoying every minute of her insomnia. She's currently considering going to sleep. She lives in Canada and has no real friends. HA HA!
You can find her on twitter at: @thekiriyamaheir
Or email: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Or facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
Thursday, April 5, 2012
REVIEW: The Devil's Carnival Sountrack
The Devil's Carnival has released their soundtrack. I was fortunate enough to nab it yesterday before iTunes crashed and had the divine pleasure of listening to it for most of last night while my friends and I did some artwork.
First off, let me begin by explaining how excited I am for this movie...
I'm REALLY FUCKING EXCITED for this movie. I'm so excited that I am building a costume inspired by it. That's more excited than I got for almost any other movie that's been released in the past few years.
A girlfriend of mine introduced me to Repo! The Genetic Opera a few years ago, and it has become a staple for movie nights in my house. Repo! was like nothing we've seen since Rocky Horror. Every time I watch it, I get shades of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's musical episode, but that might just be because of Anthony Stewart Head's role in the film, and the vocals in the song "Zydrate Anatomy".
I found out about The Devil's Carnival on twitter. Actually, to be totally honest, I found out about it through an offhand comment made by Sean Patrick Flanery on twitter that was "retweeted" by someone else. This then led me on a search to see exactly what they were talking about.
My interest was immediately nabbed. A new musical from the guys who did Repo! starring one of the actors from my all-time favorite movie? (Boondock Saints is my all-time favorite movie, for the record, followed closely by Raiders of the Lost Ark and Pulp Fiction.) How could this possibly go wrong?
There is so little information being released as we wait for the movie. It's a very good marketing ploy because in all honesty, I am completely hooked by the concept. I can't wait to see how these sinners will be made to atone for their sins, or if they'll all be damned. The marketing guy who came up with this is a genius. And of course, I follow The Devil's Carnival on twitter. Why wouldn't I?
A few weeks ago, they released a video of one of the songs from the album, "In all My Dreams I Drown." Again, hooked me instantly. I had to share it with everyone. I don't think anyone but my girlfriend who introduced me to Repo! is anywhere near as excited as I am.
So now that I have The Devil's Carnival soundtrack firmly plugged in to my mp3 player, and have learned the lyrics to both "In All my Dreams I Drown" and "Penny for a Tale" (and am working on the lyrics to "Grief") I can write my review. Song. By. Song.
However, with no context of the film to give me the story of each of these songs, I may be a little too harsh in judging them. Forgive me, if I'm wrong on my opinions.
Track 1: Heaven's All Around
The album starts with a song that sounds like it has been ripped right from a classic black and white film. They even seem to have added the scratch record kind of feedback on top of the music. This is a super solid track to start the album off right. From what I understand, Paul Sorvino (who is singing in this track) plays God, literally. I was thrilled to hear this, it was honestly not what I was expecting to start the album with based on what I'd seen in the trailers.
Track 2: Devil's Carnival
Well, it's the title track. The essence of the song is that we're all being welcomed into the carnival and are being given a short tour from the scary as hell (literally) carnies. I like this track because it really gives Alexa Vega a good outlet for her unique vocals. My favorite line is "and daughters, if you got 'em are a lot of fun!" I laughed outright the first time I heard this line, so cheesy and horrible and it plays with your imagination in all the best and worst ways. The song is perfectly fitting for an introduction to the carnival itself and has me on the edge of my seat salivating and anticipating what comes next.
Track 3: In All My Dreams I Drown
This is the song that had me hooked. It was the first thing we heard in its entirety when they released the video. The tune is simplistic, played on a violin by plucking, rather than bowing. There is a faint waves against the shore noise throughout the entire track and the deep mournful sound of the cello accentuates Terrence Zdunich's deep vocals. Combining his deep, soulful voice with the beautiful tones of Jessica Lowndes's voice and the sad lyrics makes this one of the top three songs on the album. I hope there's a story behind this song that leads up to it in the film.
Track 4: 666
To me, this was the most disappointing song on the whole album. This is the song that was played in the previews and was sampled in the 11 minute Painted Doll teaser. But there wasn't much more to it than the hook of "six-hund-red-sixty-six" (yes, that's how it's said) and the suggestion of rules and punishment. Maybe I'm taking this one out of context but until I have something to go on, I'm chalking it up as one of the two weak links in the chain.
Track 5: Kiss the Girls
This is the other one that disappointed me a little bit. Having said that, I really do like the creepy children's rhyme that is the basis of this song. Based on the lyrics, I'm assuming that this is where we are first introduced to the character John. Or maybe I'm totally wrong. Again, without the context of the film I can't make a very good judgement on it. I do love the creepiness and childishness of it, and I love the way it is all played together. An intriguing song, if not the strongest.
Track 6: Beautiful Stranger
I'm not sure where to start with this one. It's Ogre singing with a girl. The concept of the song seems to be a Russian Roulette game of some sort and culminates with the line "don't pussyfoot, shoot!" and a gun going off. The contrast of Ogre's strange accent and the female vocalist - Briana Evigan - sets the mood nicely with the love/hate relationship these two characters seem to have going on. The line "and the knife in my back reminds me of you" is another example of great lyrics and great storytelling.
Track 7: Penny for a Tale
This is one of the contenders for 'strongest song on the album'. An Aesop's fable wrapped in a song. The vocals of Ivan Moody make this song. I have listened to this song the second most on the entire album thus far, and have learned (most of) the lyrics as of this writing. I am completely smitten with the concept and plan to use this song at every event I physically can where donations are accepted. (Ha ha, we'll see if this actually happens, but wouldn't that be a cool way to open a show?) I was hooked from the very first line, "Let me tell you a tale for a penny" and was completely sold in the middle when the lyrics "Lord, Lord, that greed it'll kill ya. Lord, Lord, go on pass the hat will ya'?" filled my ears. By far one of the strongest tracks on the album and I am in love with Ivan Moody's voice now. I've never heard any of his work before now and this song is enough to make me go look up his band. (Five Finger Death Punch.)
Track 8: Trust Me
Okay, this song makes my flesh crawl every time I listen to it. It is intriguing and scary and creepy all at the same time. With no context my imagination fills in all the horrible things our singer could be doing to the girl he's singing to. From the previews, it looks like she is chained to a bull's eye and he is throwing knives at her while singing. But still. With lyrics that speak of an obsession and a tainted love song, this song is one I skip if only to avoid the creepy sensation it gives me. Still, a very good song, I can't wait to see the context of it.
Track 9: Prick! Goes the Scorpion's Tail
Another Aesop's fable. Yay! While I have never heard any of Emilie Autumn's work before now, I have to admit that it was a new experience. Her vocals are stunning - and I am not usually one to listen to a lot of female vocalists. The ways he sings the lyrics make them sound raw and lustful and dirty and sexy. The opening of the song is to die for (pun not intended) and the context has so much potential.
Track 10: Grief
This review is probably going to be the longest of the 12. Why? Because this is the song I had waited patiently for. I didn't skip ahead, I wanted the full experience of the album. I will admit that I am a fan of Sean Patrick Flanery. Have been for years. The only reason I knew about this film was because of him. (As I mentioned at the beginning of this article.) And I don't mind admitting that. I had to listen to this song several times before I could make a decision on it. I had, at first, a bit of trouble setting my fan girl aside to actually listen to the song. Mr. Flanery, if you ever read this, yes, I am a huge fan, always will be and I want you, Mr. Flanery, and everyone else to know that this song blew my mind. It was not what I was expecting. At all. For me, hearing Sean Patrick Flanery sing - and his voice being absolutely NOTHING like I'd expected - was jarring at first. And yes, Sean Patrick Flanery can sing. The best way to describe it is like when Anthony Steward Head sings in Repo! as Nathan, and then drastically changes his voice to be the RepoMan and stuns you. That is the exact reaction I had to this song the first time I listened to it. The lyrics make it sound like the character, John, is slipping into madness (please, let that assumption be correct) and is contemplating suicide. The lyrics are heartbreaking and mournful and I honestly wanted to cry when I actually listened to the lyrics. And then, they go on to suggest that John is supremely bad. I am trying very hard not to gush over this song, because in my opinion it is not one of the strongest songs on the album (though it's much stronger than Devil's Carnival, 666 and Kiss the Girls) and I don't want to sound like a fan girl, but the delivery of this song, and the lyrics and the creepy laugh Sean does in the middle of the song - it all comes together to create this amazing thing. I was cooking at the time when I heard this song the first time, didn't know which song it was, and in all honesty, my knees buckled at the end of this song and left me wanting more. Then I found out which song it was, had a fan girl moment and did a double-take. Lyrically, the story is amazing in this song and I want to see how it plays out the most of all.
Track 11: Grace for Sale
Okay, this might be the strongest song on the album. (It's still a hard call between this one, In All my Dreams I Drown, and Penny for a Tale.) Terrance Zdunich's vocals are amazing. I have always loved Grave Robber and "Zydrate Anatomy" in Repo! and to see him again, and hear him again singing these songs are just perfection. His deep, smooth, melodic voice is the perfect match to the lyrics. This song is my girlfriend's favorite, she'd waited the longest for this song and it did not disappoint her. And if we're being honest, it didn't disappoint me either. This song indicates a great amount of research done into Christian theology (I am loathe to use the word 'mythology' here.) The idea that there is a chance of salvation and redemption within the lyrics makes me giddy. The theology behind it, the references to Lucifer's fall, and his silver tongue all blend together and just deliver exactly what we were hoping for. The piano accompaniment is a strong feature to this song, too. "Tongues, tongues, slither into Psalms, that's how a carnival grows, my son" is one of the best lines. Very catchy, very poetic.
Track 12: Off to Hell we Go
I didn't even notice that this was it's own track. It just blended perfectly with Grace for Sale, I had to go back and listen to it on it's own. There's isn't much to say about this one. It's the last track on the album and it suggests that we all end up trotting merrily along to our eternal damnation and no one is saved in the end. Kind of disappointing when you look at it that way. But not disappointing enough to deter me from seeing this film when it becomes available.
Overall:
What a solid album! I don't think that I have ever heard an album from any other artist in recent memory that is so well put-together, and that carries such a dynamic and unique theme throughout. Every song is unique but carries the theme of the album with it. With a great balance of dark and light and creepy, I can't recommend this album enough. Even without the context of the movie, I am intrigued and will be listening to this album over and over.
I give it 4 out of 5 only because I have no idea about the back story and context of a few of the songs.
Cheers.
Kai Kiriyama is an aspiring novelist and screenwriter. She can sing but can't write her own music to save her life. She's also REALLY opinionated. Kai hates the term 'fan girl' and gets offended when anyone else uses it to describe her. She lives in Canada with her laptop and pet snake.
You can find Kai on twitter, her username is @thekiriyamaheir
If you want to talk to her with more than 140 characters and commenting on her blog isn't your thing, you can email her at thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
And, if all else fails, you can Facebook her at www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
First off, let me begin by explaining how excited I am for this movie...
I'm REALLY FUCKING EXCITED for this movie. I'm so excited that I am building a costume inspired by it. That's more excited than I got for almost any other movie that's been released in the past few years.
A girlfriend of mine introduced me to Repo! The Genetic Opera a few years ago, and it has become a staple for movie nights in my house. Repo! was like nothing we've seen since Rocky Horror. Every time I watch it, I get shades of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's musical episode, but that might just be because of Anthony Stewart Head's role in the film, and the vocals in the song "Zydrate Anatomy".
I found out about The Devil's Carnival on twitter. Actually, to be totally honest, I found out about it through an offhand comment made by Sean Patrick Flanery on twitter that was "retweeted" by someone else. This then led me on a search to see exactly what they were talking about.
My interest was immediately nabbed. A new musical from the guys who did Repo! starring one of the actors from my all-time favorite movie? (Boondock Saints is my all-time favorite movie, for the record, followed closely by Raiders of the Lost Ark and Pulp Fiction.) How could this possibly go wrong?
There is so little information being released as we wait for the movie. It's a very good marketing ploy because in all honesty, I am completely hooked by the concept. I can't wait to see how these sinners will be made to atone for their sins, or if they'll all be damned. The marketing guy who came up with this is a genius. And of course, I follow The Devil's Carnival on twitter. Why wouldn't I?
A few weeks ago, they released a video of one of the songs from the album, "In all My Dreams I Drown." Again, hooked me instantly. I had to share it with everyone. I don't think anyone but my girlfriend who introduced me to Repo! is anywhere near as excited as I am.
So now that I have The Devil's Carnival soundtrack firmly plugged in to my mp3 player, and have learned the lyrics to both "In All my Dreams I Drown" and "Penny for a Tale" (and am working on the lyrics to "Grief") I can write my review. Song. By. Song.
However, with no context of the film to give me the story of each of these songs, I may be a little too harsh in judging them. Forgive me, if I'm wrong on my opinions.
Track 1: Heaven's All Around
The album starts with a song that sounds like it has been ripped right from a classic black and white film. They even seem to have added the scratch record kind of feedback on top of the music. This is a super solid track to start the album off right. From what I understand, Paul Sorvino (who is singing in this track) plays God, literally. I was thrilled to hear this, it was honestly not what I was expecting to start the album with based on what I'd seen in the trailers.
Track 2: Devil's Carnival
Well, it's the title track. The essence of the song is that we're all being welcomed into the carnival and are being given a short tour from the scary as hell (literally) carnies. I like this track because it really gives Alexa Vega a good outlet for her unique vocals. My favorite line is "and daughters, if you got 'em are a lot of fun!" I laughed outright the first time I heard this line, so cheesy and horrible and it plays with your imagination in all the best and worst ways. The song is perfectly fitting for an introduction to the carnival itself and has me on the edge of my seat salivating and anticipating what comes next.
Track 3: In All My Dreams I Drown
This is the song that had me hooked. It was the first thing we heard in its entirety when they released the video. The tune is simplistic, played on a violin by plucking, rather than bowing. There is a faint waves against the shore noise throughout the entire track and the deep mournful sound of the cello accentuates Terrence Zdunich's deep vocals. Combining his deep, soulful voice with the beautiful tones of Jessica Lowndes's voice and the sad lyrics makes this one of the top three songs on the album. I hope there's a story behind this song that leads up to it in the film.
Track 4: 666
To me, this was the most disappointing song on the whole album. This is the song that was played in the previews and was sampled in the 11 minute Painted Doll teaser. But there wasn't much more to it than the hook of "six-hund-red-sixty-six" (yes, that's how it's said) and the suggestion of rules and punishment. Maybe I'm taking this one out of context but until I have something to go on, I'm chalking it up as one of the two weak links in the chain.
Track 5: Kiss the Girls
This is the other one that disappointed me a little bit. Having said that, I really do like the creepy children's rhyme that is the basis of this song. Based on the lyrics, I'm assuming that this is where we are first introduced to the character John. Or maybe I'm totally wrong. Again, without the context of the film I can't make a very good judgement on it. I do love the creepiness and childishness of it, and I love the way it is all played together. An intriguing song, if not the strongest.
Track 6: Beautiful Stranger
I'm not sure where to start with this one. It's Ogre singing with a girl. The concept of the song seems to be a Russian Roulette game of some sort and culminates with the line "don't pussyfoot, shoot!" and a gun going off. The contrast of Ogre's strange accent and the female vocalist - Briana Evigan - sets the mood nicely with the love/hate relationship these two characters seem to have going on. The line "and the knife in my back reminds me of you" is another example of great lyrics and great storytelling.
Track 7: Penny for a Tale
This is one of the contenders for 'strongest song on the album'. An Aesop's fable wrapped in a song. The vocals of Ivan Moody make this song. I have listened to this song the second most on the entire album thus far, and have learned (most of) the lyrics as of this writing. I am completely smitten with the concept and plan to use this song at every event I physically can where donations are accepted. (Ha ha, we'll see if this actually happens, but wouldn't that be a cool way to open a show?) I was hooked from the very first line, "Let me tell you a tale for a penny" and was completely sold in the middle when the lyrics "Lord, Lord, that greed it'll kill ya. Lord, Lord, go on pass the hat will ya'?" filled my ears. By far one of the strongest tracks on the album and I am in love with Ivan Moody's voice now. I've never heard any of his work before now and this song is enough to make me go look up his band. (Five Finger Death Punch.)
Track 8: Trust Me
Okay, this song makes my flesh crawl every time I listen to it. It is intriguing and scary and creepy all at the same time. With no context my imagination fills in all the horrible things our singer could be doing to the girl he's singing to. From the previews, it looks like she is chained to a bull's eye and he is throwing knives at her while singing. But still. With lyrics that speak of an obsession and a tainted love song, this song is one I skip if only to avoid the creepy sensation it gives me. Still, a very good song, I can't wait to see the context of it.
Track 9: Prick! Goes the Scorpion's Tail
Another Aesop's fable. Yay! While I have never heard any of Emilie Autumn's work before now, I have to admit that it was a new experience. Her vocals are stunning - and I am not usually one to listen to a lot of female vocalists. The ways he sings the lyrics make them sound raw and lustful and dirty and sexy. The opening of the song is to die for (pun not intended) and the context has so much potential.
Track 10: Grief
This review is probably going to be the longest of the 12. Why? Because this is the song I had waited patiently for. I didn't skip ahead, I wanted the full experience of the album. I will admit that I am a fan of Sean Patrick Flanery. Have been for years. The only reason I knew about this film was because of him. (As I mentioned at the beginning of this article.) And I don't mind admitting that. I had to listen to this song several times before I could make a decision on it. I had, at first, a bit of trouble setting my fan girl aside to actually listen to the song. Mr. Flanery, if you ever read this, yes, I am a huge fan, always will be and I want you, Mr. Flanery, and everyone else to know that this song blew my mind. It was not what I was expecting. At all. For me, hearing Sean Patrick Flanery sing - and his voice being absolutely NOTHING like I'd expected - was jarring at first. And yes, Sean Patrick Flanery can sing. The best way to describe it is like when Anthony Steward Head sings in Repo! as Nathan, and then drastically changes his voice to be the RepoMan and stuns you. That is the exact reaction I had to this song the first time I listened to it. The lyrics make it sound like the character, John, is slipping into madness (please, let that assumption be correct) and is contemplating suicide. The lyrics are heartbreaking and mournful and I honestly wanted to cry when I actually listened to the lyrics. And then, they go on to suggest that John is supremely bad. I am trying very hard not to gush over this song, because in my opinion it is not one of the strongest songs on the album (though it's much stronger than Devil's Carnival, 666 and Kiss the Girls) and I don't want to sound like a fan girl, but the delivery of this song, and the lyrics and the creepy laugh Sean does in the middle of the song - it all comes together to create this amazing thing. I was cooking at the time when I heard this song the first time, didn't know which song it was, and in all honesty, my knees buckled at the end of this song and left me wanting more. Then I found out which song it was, had a fan girl moment and did a double-take. Lyrically, the story is amazing in this song and I want to see how it plays out the most of all.
Track 11: Grace for Sale
Okay, this might be the strongest song on the album. (It's still a hard call between this one, In All my Dreams I Drown, and Penny for a Tale.) Terrance Zdunich's vocals are amazing. I have always loved Grave Robber and "Zydrate Anatomy" in Repo! and to see him again, and hear him again singing these songs are just perfection. His deep, smooth, melodic voice is the perfect match to the lyrics. This song is my girlfriend's favorite, she'd waited the longest for this song and it did not disappoint her. And if we're being honest, it didn't disappoint me either. This song indicates a great amount of research done into Christian theology (I am loathe to use the word 'mythology' here.) The idea that there is a chance of salvation and redemption within the lyrics makes me giddy. The theology behind it, the references to Lucifer's fall, and his silver tongue all blend together and just deliver exactly what we were hoping for. The piano accompaniment is a strong feature to this song, too. "Tongues, tongues, slither into Psalms, that's how a carnival grows, my son" is one of the best lines. Very catchy, very poetic.
Track 12: Off to Hell we Go
I didn't even notice that this was it's own track. It just blended perfectly with Grace for Sale, I had to go back and listen to it on it's own. There's isn't much to say about this one. It's the last track on the album and it suggests that we all end up trotting merrily along to our eternal damnation and no one is saved in the end. Kind of disappointing when you look at it that way. But not disappointing enough to deter me from seeing this film when it becomes available.
Overall:
What a solid album! I don't think that I have ever heard an album from any other artist in recent memory that is so well put-together, and that carries such a dynamic and unique theme throughout. Every song is unique but carries the theme of the album with it. With a great balance of dark and light and creepy, I can't recommend this album enough. Even without the context of the movie, I am intrigued and will be listening to this album over and over.
I give it 4 out of 5 only because I have no idea about the back story and context of a few of the songs.
Cheers.
Kai Kiriyama is an aspiring novelist and screenwriter. She can sing but can't write her own music to save her life. She's also REALLY opinionated. Kai hates the term 'fan girl' and gets offended when anyone else uses it to describe her. She lives in Canada with her laptop and pet snake.
You can find Kai on twitter, her username is @thekiriyamaheir
If you want to talk to her with more than 140 characters and commenting on her blog isn't your thing, you can email her at thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
And, if all else fails, you can Facebook her at www.facebook.com/authorkaikiriyama
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Dear Murphy: Several things We May or May Not Need a Stupid Fuckin' Rope For
Dear Murphy,
You still seem rather skeptical about Connor's insistence on bringing rope to every job, to every event, and to every place you go that isn't in and out.
You seem to be convinced that rope is a non-essential item in our day to day lives.
Now, I'm just a writer, what do I know about the ins-and-outs of your specific job? But I think that there are a few things you are overlooking in your dear brother's insistence of having what you refer to as "stupid fuckin' rope."
Let us first consider that there are many different kinds of rope. There are different materials and textures, gauges and thicknesses. Hell, you could consider twine a kind of rope, or yarn for that matter, depending on how you want to define it.
But for your consideration, we shall just stick with the thick, black nylon kind of rope that you always seem to end up lugging around.
You should first and foremost consider yourself lucky that you're not a pirate. You'd have to spend all day lugging rope around. And half the damn ship is made of rope, you know. All the rigging is rope, all the ropes in the sails. And you always need extra rope to tie down loose cannons - and people - in violent storms. You'd swing across the ropes to board another ship, just like in the movies. And when the ship crashes and sinks and you are stranded and your clothes have become to big because you've lost so much weight and are starving, that rope will be your belt.
Or you could hang yourself. Or the mutineers who crashed your ship in the first place.
I think thirty pounds of rope is getting off lightly when you consider that you could be a pirate.
I grew up on a farm, Murphy. Trust me when I say that a good piece of rope can come in so handy for things like tying equipment and tarps down on the back of my truck. Or for making a makeshift halter to lead my horse. Or worst case scenario, a quick fix for lashing together the fence posts while we bring the materials to fix them properly. The same idea goes for working construction. Again, we see tarps and tools and heavy things that need to be lifted - what else are you going to use on the pulley?
You could also be a rock climber. They rely on rope to make sure that they don't fall to their untimely and ultimately gross demise.
Or you could be a mercenary. (Or is that what you think of yourself as, already?) You could use your rope to set traps. Again, with these things that we see in the movies! But you're considering it now, aren't you? A rope trap, or a string of rope with tin cans attached to warn you when someone is coming. You can stop the ambush that way. (Watch out for the zombies.)
You've done some insane things (shall we refrain from mentioning Copley Plaza?) and have been very lucky to have rope on hand. That in itself should be enough of an argument in favor of having rope.
But I know you. It never is.
So what else can you use this rope for?
For starters, I will suggest that you could use it as a whip. Because it's honestly the first thing you do when you have a piece of rope. Not you, specifically, dear Murphy, but the general 'you' in reference to anyone who may or may not be reading this. Admit it, you've done it.
And now you have a piece of rope for which you have no use. You've whipped it around like Indiana Jones and you're bored holding your piece of rope.
Save your rope, dear Murphy, you do need to keep yourself in top physical condition. Use it as a jump rope, you have it anyway. And I know that the thick black nylon rope you have is an excellent weight. You can also use it for resistance training. Those pitiful elastics the gyms overcharge you for ain't got nothing on a good piece of rope. And you could always try climbing the rope to build your upper body strength. But you won't, 'cause that was the worst part of grade school gym class.
And you're giving me that look that says I'm insane.
We could always use our imagination a little more, couldn't we? Do you truly want me to go into kinky details about what you could do with that rope?
...too bad. I'm not going to. But your mind went there too. So maybe reconsider your rope.
Besides, Murphy, you never know when you'll have to save a damsel from her tower. Not everyone can grow hair long and thick enough to hoist you into a tower. You'll be thankful you have your rope then.
I think I have made my point quite clear, dear Murphy.
So quit arguing about what you're going to need the stupid fuckin' rope for.
You could be a pirate.
Sincerely,
Kai.
You still seem rather skeptical about Connor's insistence on bringing rope to every job, to every event, and to every place you go that isn't in and out.
You seem to be convinced that rope is a non-essential item in our day to day lives.
Now, I'm just a writer, what do I know about the ins-and-outs of your specific job? But I think that there are a few things you are overlooking in your dear brother's insistence of having what you refer to as "stupid fuckin' rope."
Let us first consider that there are many different kinds of rope. There are different materials and textures, gauges and thicknesses. Hell, you could consider twine a kind of rope, or yarn for that matter, depending on how you want to define it.
But for your consideration, we shall just stick with the thick, black nylon kind of rope that you always seem to end up lugging around.
You should first and foremost consider yourself lucky that you're not a pirate. You'd have to spend all day lugging rope around. And half the damn ship is made of rope, you know. All the rigging is rope, all the ropes in the sails. And you always need extra rope to tie down loose cannons - and people - in violent storms. You'd swing across the ropes to board another ship, just like in the movies. And when the ship crashes and sinks and you are stranded and your clothes have become to big because you've lost so much weight and are starving, that rope will be your belt.
Or you could hang yourself. Or the mutineers who crashed your ship in the first place.
I think thirty pounds of rope is getting off lightly when you consider that you could be a pirate.
I grew up on a farm, Murphy. Trust me when I say that a good piece of rope can come in so handy for things like tying equipment and tarps down on the back of my truck. Or for making a makeshift halter to lead my horse. Or worst case scenario, a quick fix for lashing together the fence posts while we bring the materials to fix them properly. The same idea goes for working construction. Again, we see tarps and tools and heavy things that need to be lifted - what else are you going to use on the pulley?
You could also be a rock climber. They rely on rope to make sure that they don't fall to their untimely and ultimately gross demise.
Or you could be a mercenary. (Or is that what you think of yourself as, already?) You could use your rope to set traps. Again, with these things that we see in the movies! But you're considering it now, aren't you? A rope trap, or a string of rope with tin cans attached to warn you when someone is coming. You can stop the ambush that way. (Watch out for the zombies.)
You've done some insane things (shall we refrain from mentioning Copley Plaza?) and have been very lucky to have rope on hand. That in itself should be enough of an argument in favor of having rope.
But I know you. It never is.
So what else can you use this rope for?
For starters, I will suggest that you could use it as a whip. Because it's honestly the first thing you do when you have a piece of rope. Not you, specifically, dear Murphy, but the general 'you' in reference to anyone who may or may not be reading this. Admit it, you've done it.
And now you have a piece of rope for which you have no use. You've whipped it around like Indiana Jones and you're bored holding your piece of rope.
Save your rope, dear Murphy, you do need to keep yourself in top physical condition. Use it as a jump rope, you have it anyway. And I know that the thick black nylon rope you have is an excellent weight. You can also use it for resistance training. Those pitiful elastics the gyms overcharge you for ain't got nothing on a good piece of rope. And you could always try climbing the rope to build your upper body strength. But you won't, 'cause that was the worst part of grade school gym class.
And you're giving me that look that says I'm insane.
We could always use our imagination a little more, couldn't we? Do you truly want me to go into kinky details about what you could do with that rope?
...too bad. I'm not going to. But your mind went there too. So maybe reconsider your rope.
Besides, Murphy, you never know when you'll have to save a damsel from her tower. Not everyone can grow hair long and thick enough to hoist you into a tower. You'll be thankful you have your rope then.
I think I have made my point quite clear, dear Murphy.
So quit arguing about what you're going to need the stupid fuckin' rope for.
You could be a pirate.
Sincerely,
Kai.
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