Quotes to Consider

"Dirty deeds didn't come as cheap as the song had suggested and led me to believe..."

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A commemorative poem.... Kind of.

The Last Day of NaNo
A parody poem by Kai Kiriyama

'Twas the last day of NaNo

And all through the house

Was a furious typing

And a neglected spouse.

The stories were wrought

With 'nary a care

Knowing that victory soon would be there.

The writers neglected the comforts of their beds,

While little plot bunnies danced through their heads.

With the goal in sight, and a promised night cap,

We'd write till the end, and then all take a nap.

When from across the room, there arose so much laughter,

I sprang from my laptop to see what was the matter.
Away from my story I ran in a dash,

I questioned the Wrimos, fearing a computer crash.

The faces of writers lit by computer's glow,

All spoke of insomnia, as all Wrimos know,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a new purple bar that had never been here,

With an impressive word count and a colour so slick,

I thought for a moment it must be a trick.

More rapid than word wars, the answers they came,

And the Wrimo explained not asking my name;

"Through word wars, and writer's block, and plot bunnies so!

Through insomnia, and distractions and inner editors we go!

To write in a month fifty thousand words is the goal!

Now write away! write away! write away all!"

As stunned as I was the speech made me want to cry,

The Wrimo had overcome this obstacle, it brought a tear to my eye,

So back to my novel with determination I flew,

Determined to earn myself the purple bar too.

And then, without warning, I heard in my head,

My own Inner Editor, filling me with dread.

So I shook my head, and tried not to drown,

As my Inner Editor spoke, a horrible sound.

He was filled with vile words, from his head to his foot,

And he tried to tarnish mywriting with his soot;

A bundle of doubts he was placing over my writing,

And his words were horrible, scathing and biting.

His eyes -- how they twinkled with malice, it was unnerving!

He sneered at my characters, said my work was undeserving!

His words poured forth from his mouth like bile,

And the temptation to delete my work was too vile;

The whole of my work, he held in his teeth,

And he tore it apart piece by piece;

'Twas a slap in the face and a punch in the belly,

And I felt all my insides turn right to jelly.

He said “no one wants to read about your trite little elf,”

And I almost deleted my work in spite of myself;

Then someone stood tall and broke through my dread,

And silenced the Inner Editor in my head;

He spoke not a word, but looked at my work,

And he checked my word count; then turned with a jerk,

And said “This Wrimo is almost to the end,

So let's cheer them on, let's prove we're all friends”;

He led the chant, as the group cheered and whistled,

And away the doubt flew, like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as the end came in sight,

Happy Writing to all, and to all a good night!”

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Eleven Things Vampires Need To Do (To Make Me Love the Genre Again)

(Because lists of ten are for sissies.)

I'm not gonna lie (or deny it for that matter,) I grew up watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I loved that show. Loved that show. I was eleven years old, had just finished reading Interview with the Vampire (and subsequently watching the movie) and my television watching outside of Saturday morning cartoons consisted of The X-Files, Millennium, The Pretender and Star Trek: Voyager. Suddenly, a magical wonderful show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer appeared. It changed the way I watched television. In fact, it changed the way I looked at the supernatural in general. Not to mention the genre itself. I will always view Buffy as one of the top role models for young girls (at least in the first couple of seasons, I still hated how much of a whore she became and Riley was a terrible choice for partners, better to have just ignored that whole part and gone right on to the sleeping with Spike business) especially in that era of television and prepubescent angst. I devoted six years of my life to that show (I missed the last season because I didn't have cable living on the farm) and I don't regret any of it. Except maybe the season with the Initiative – I really effing hate Riley. And Harmony. Especially vampire Harmony.

The point is that I still view the Joss Whedon era of vampires, and the predecessor of Anne Rice's early Vampire Chronicles books, to be the epitome of vampire lore. (Dracula notwithstanding, and of course the silent version of Nosferatu being the pinnacle vampire movie ever made. EVER.) It's in recent years, however, that I have really begun to fall out of love with the vampire genre. I loved the first two Blade movies (the comics are okay, but I never really got into them as much) but I think the decline and the idea that maybe I should start seeing someone else, started around the release of Underworld, and then continued with the subsequent horrors of Van Helsing and the movie adaptation of Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned. I was thoroughly unimpressed.



So, in an effort to reconcile with my lost love of vampires, I present to you a list of eleven things that they can do (or stop doing) that will rekindle my love with them. In no particular order:



  1. Stop Brooding.
    Bloody hell. If it was awesome to be a vampire, don't you think there'd be more of you? Or at least there'd be a lot more awesome things happening instead of all this emotional brooding garbage that I keep seeing. I thought I had it bad with Angel and his whole dark and mysterious brooding presence but I mean, seriously guys, you're immortal, you get to stay up all night, party, have awesome superpowers, realistically have maybe 1/100th of the sense of morality that normal humans do and yet you can't be happy for longer than a second can you? Fine, you're like a thousand years old. Fine, you had to watch all your loved ones die. That's sad, but that's life. Deal with it. Even Lestat got over the loss of Nicki after a couple of decades, and Spike wasn't all that upset about his crappy poetry anymore after he brutally murdered his critics with a railroad spike. (*Note to self: kill your critics who give you bad reviews with a railroad spike.)
  1. We get it, most of you can read minds.
It's not really a surprise that vampires have all sorts of ungodly powers. Unnatural speed, strength, heightened senses of smell, sight and hearing. (And according to Buffy “An innate ability to learn kung-fu.”) So it really shouldn't come as much of a shocker that some vampires can read minds. It's like saying that the sky is blue. “I can read your mind.” coming from a vampire is like my boyfriend telling me that he has a present for me and then following it up with “and it's in my pants.” I don't see why this is such a big deal. And it's not even really that it's a big deal that a vampire CAN read minds, it's more of a big deal when the vampire in questions CAN'T read minds. More specifically, a single mind. More specifically, the single mind of the object of said vampire's current sexual frustrations. Lestat could read EVERYONE'S mind, except for Louis and Claudia because he created them. It makes sense, if you were planning to kill your creator, you wouldn't want him poking about in the dark crevices of your mind would you?
    9. Stop trying to blend into human society
    You're a vampire. People are going to question why you look like you're sixteen and aren't in school. You can't really get a good job because you're forced to sleep during the day. If you were lucky you should have been left a small fortune that over the years you could have squirrelled away and invested (or had someone else invest for you) so that you're set up with enough money to last your eternity. If not... why haven't you done that? You should be living it up like an eccentric old coot on a mountain or hill mansion, never to be seen during the day and always ignoring society like the plague humankind so assuredly is.   
     
    8. (but if it's a must) Stop letting Goths and Preps tell you how to dress.
    Yeah, so everyone gets lonely. So do vampires right? But I assume that listening to crusty old immortals talk about the 'good old days back in 1492' could get rather tiresome. So why not go out and mingle wit the fresh blood? Maybe you'll even grab a bite to drink while you're out and about. But seriously, please stop dressing like a spokes model for Abercrombie & Fitch. You're from the deepest darkest regions of fantasy and nightmare, not the Jersey Shore. And while we're at it, the leather and corset thing is great, but are you trying to fit in or scare off anyone who might potentially talk to you who has any degree of intelligence beyond the sixth grade? I'd be okay if a vampire showed up at my house in jeans, a button down shirt, and a leather jacket. (No, I'm not obsessed with Spike, shut up.) In fact, I'd be okay if a vampire showed up in period clothing like Lestat but I definitely would not be okay with a modern day Goth or a pasty vampire in khakis and a polo shirt showing up on my doorstep.
     
    7. Stop trying to regain your lost humanity.
    You're dead. Deal with it. You kill to survive. How is it any different than killing a pig for bacon? Oh right, you seem to have some of those pesky morals about you still. How about I go and kill a chicken for my own dinner and you go feed on that slutty chick who's been grinding against you at the goth club all night? I guarantee she'll go on to the next world (guided by Anubis, I'm sure) happier than a clam knowing that she was offed by a real-life vampire. Which brings me nicely to my next point...
     
    6. Drink human blood, dammit!
    Not the frozen stuff you get at the blood banks, and none of that going to the butcher to get his/her pig's and cow's blood that just gets thrown away anyway. Go out, find a hobo and drain him. Right now. I'll wait for you. Maybe if you're lucky you'll pick a drunk one and get some of that contact high drunkenness that comes with ingesting all that blood with a high alcohol content. Are you getting up? Hurry up, seriously, I'll wait but I have to be home before dark, that's when the vampires come out.
     
    5. Stop coming up with reasons why you can walk in the daylight.
    Mythology tells us that vampires can't walk in the daylight. Some movies have even suggested that Dracula was the original Judas who sold out Christ, and then went on to hang himself but God was all like “nope, you aren't allowed to die” so he became an undead, shunned from the world and unable to ever see the glory of the world in daylight ever again. That seems convoluted but okay! As long as you're not allowed to see the sun, I'm okay with this. In fact, I don't even care what the reasoning behind why you CAN'T walk in the daylight is, as long as you DON'T walk in the daylight.
     
    4. What's with this rivalry between Vampires and Werewolves/lycans/other were-things/shapeshifters?
    No seriously. I don't get this. Where did this even come from? Did like, the original Wolfman call Dracula's mom a whore or something? Or did Dracula kill a werewolf once and mount it's head on a pike in front of his castle like ol' Vlad was wont to do? Or is this because Vampires were getting all the hot virgin action and the Were-things were jealous 'cause bestiality is worse than necrophilia? Is it one of those 'the night ain't big enough for the both of us' things? Are all Vampires secretly Clint Eastwood? If someone actually knows the answer to this, I'm all ears.
     
    3. Stop with the covens/clans/family togetherness bullshit.
    Safety in numbers doesn't work when there's a Vampire Slayer on the loose. Werewolves are excused from this rule because they're wolves. It's a wolf thing. But we're talking about Vampires here. Just because there's a hundred of you doesn't mean that you should force them to come over for Thanksgiving dinner every year. I remember what those dinners were like in my family – and we weren't even psychic! Imagine all the resentment and discomfort multiplied by a thousandfold and add in psychic powers, short tempers and unnatural strength. All right, I'm entertained as hell thinking about the blood and gore that would ensue, but I don't think that it would bode very well for anyone who ends up getting out of the bloodbath. How do you recover from a family dinner where you just tore your new cousin's arm off? That relationship is never gonna be quite the same again.
     
    2. Stop owning/working in strip clubs/the sex trade and overall being human fetishist sex toys
    How is getting a boner even possible if you have no blood of your own left? And why are you even considered attractive? I personally HATE it when my boyfriend puts his cold feet on my legs when I'm trying to sleep. And cold hands anywhere on my body is not a pleasant feeling (unless I'm running a fever, but that's beside the point.) So maybe you're pretty damn perfect. And maybe you need a place to live. And maybe you need some money. Or lots of money... And maybe you have some inexplicable need to feed off of lust or pheromones to keep yourself looking fabulous. I don't know. I just regurgitate the facts that I read in the Anita Blake and Sookie Stackhouse novels. (I think one of them calls it ardeur but I can't remember which one. I'm convinced that the authors are cleverly the same person writing the same premise under different names with different heroines. Laurell K. Hamilton and Charlaine Harris, I'm waiting for an email from either of you assuring me that you're not the same person.) I'm really not reading vampire books for undead erotica. If I wanted that, I would go pick up anything ever written by Anne Rice under one of her erotica pen names and replace the main male protagonist's name with Lestat... Or go watch Torchwood again. Jack Harkness kind of counts as an undead, doesn't he? Whatever, the point is that with so many awesome abilities and opportunities available to you as a vampire, why would you work as a whore/stripper?
     
    1. Stop sparkling.
    Unless you're George Takei or David Bowie and have been turned into a vampire.
Kai Kiriyama is still a geek girl, still a writer, and still working her way towards getting published. She would also like to point out that she has, in past vampire novels, broken at least four of these rules herself in an attempt to make her vampire novels more 'mainstream'. Kai would like to point out that she is probably a vampire hipster but will bite you if you say that to her face. As always, there are several ways to get in touch with Kai.
Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authorKaiKiriyama

Friday, November 25, 2011

Caffeine-free: What a Terrible Way to Be!

So yesterday was a day that saw me write 18,016 words before midnight. I started just after noon I think and I did take a few breaks in between pumping words out of my brain onto the pages but wow, what a feeling of accomplishment and insanity. My wrists REALLY hurt afterwards and the arrival of supper meant that I wasn't gonna write any more.

The scary thing is that I did it all with almost no caffeine.

You may not know this about me but I'm a caffeine addict. A fiend, even. I love me some coffee and I adore Coca-Cola, so it shouldn't really surprise anyone.

But I had only a single cup yesterday.

And look at what I accomplished. I felt awesome about myself, great about the work I was doing and amazed that I managed to keep my brain functioning for that long and at that level of coherency without my blessed nectar of life.

Today, I have no caffeine.

I have a headache. I'm cranky. I want to murder everything. And I can't make my fingers move quickly or coherently enough to produce more than a couple hundred words at a time. And I've been sitting here since 1 p.m. This is terrible. I feel terrible, I look terrible and I feel like my brains are going to explode out of my head and ooze out of my eyes at any given moment.

If you haven't guessed, the word of the day is 'terrible'.

I didn't realize how truly addicted to caffeine I was until I didn't have any. Then the yucky symptoms start. Irritability, headaches, fatigue. Blah blah blah.

I swear I'm never doing this again. I NEED caffeine to live. And to write. And to make the boring bits a lot easier to handle.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

5 FAQs and What I think About Them

So it's the usual thing; you're doing an interview for some form of public advertisement or another and the same questions come up. I refer to them as the FAQs of Self-Promotion. These are the most common questions that I notice are asked or that I have been asked in various places. I'm not giving you my answers, but just an opinion of what I think about them. I'm really annoyed by most of these questions, I feel that they display a lack of interest in what I actually do and a lack of knowledge about what I'm all about. I warn you, I am making fun and being quite bitter. I also actually will answer these questions if asked, but please, don't open a conversation with me using any of these questions. I think we need some more creative FAQs, don't you?

1. "Where do you get your inspiration?"

"First, I have to read a lot of British political books and some Ancient Greek philosophy. Then I smoke a lot and drink like a fish to channel my inner Hunter S. Thompson. Then I have to deface a piece of public property and get into a fight with a stranger. Then I go to the pub for fish and chips and Guinness. Then I scribble notes on a dirty bar napkin in between rounds of karaoke. After that, I go home to sleep for three days. If I'm lucky, I'll have written something inspiring on that napkin. If not, the process has to be repeated until I do."

My immediate response to this question is usually 'My brain', but that answer can vary depending on how sarcastic I'm feeling or how genuine the person asking the question is being. If I get asked the question 'where do you come up with [your ideas]?' I'm usually less offended. I think that asking for inspiration is used mostly as an ice breaker and to gauge how in depth you're willing to go on your answers. I feel that a lot of journalism, especially in the current information age, is timid, afraid of offending or losing their exclusive when it comes to the types of questions asked. (I could be wrong about that considering how cutthroat the industry is.) I also understand that it's a common question and that everyone who is inspired by (you) me wants to know where ideas and inspiration come from. I just think it's a terrible way to start a conversation.


2. "Who are the biggest influences on your work?"


"H.P. Lovecraft and my psychiatrist. Dr. Yoko P.h.D. says that the drugs are really taking effect and that the voices in my head should subside any day now." 

Why would I openly admit to drawing influence from pop culture? I think there ought to be a time limit on who and where you're allowed to draw influences from. I hate this question SO MUCH, mostly because I never know how to answer it properly. I also rarely draw influences from pop culture, I prefer to steep my work in world mythology and religious theory, so I  guess my answer is God?


3. "You have been compared to [insert celebrity name here] how does this make you feel?"

"Inadequate."

Why should I compare myself to someone who has won multiple awards or, in the cases of the creator of sparkly vampires, written something that should be abolished? Having no awards under my belt and being compared to someone who I admire (or theoretically SHOULD admire) seems like a compliment but in reality it makes me feel like I am just a kid with no chance in hell. I mean, honestly, Stephen King was told that he should stop writing and that he'd never make it. I dunno if I'd be flattered to be compared to him. Besides, there's no guarantee that my books will sell a billion copies, even if I am called 'the next Robert Jordan' or something equally ridiculous.

4. "How old were you when you started [writing]?"

"Seeing as the public school system was pretty awesome when I was a kid... I'd say like 4." (And my first words were 'Mom' and 'Cat'.)

Oh wait, you mean professionally? Um... I dunno. It seemed like a natural progression in my life. (I was 13 when I decided I wanted to work towards getting published and I started writing screenplays, in case you were legitimately wondering.) It really isn't something that you kind of make a note of in your diary. Except I did. Because I was convinced that I could get published at 14, like that Paolini guy (That's his name right?) who wrote the Eldest series. Then I found out that he had an inside edge 'cause his parents owned a publishing company. *le sigh* I'm still working on it, and I'm still writing. Why does it matter when I started?

5. "What words of advice do you have for [people aspiring to be like you]?"

"Don't. No. Seriously. Don't. I'm a caffeine fiend, I'm an insomniac and I'm pretty stressed out all the time. I also have become a hermit and like to stay in my house in my pajamas for days at a time eating Cheetos and watching British comedy. Oh and I guess I write sometimes, but I don't remember that part much."

I don't really have any advice to start with. And then you add that this is for people who wanna be like me? There goes whatever small amounts of advice I had to give in the first place. And why would you ask me this question more than once? It's not like the advice is gonna change much. If I've answered this question in the past month or six, please don't ask me again. Or else I WILL give you a snarky answer.

*****

So that's about it. I'm cranky and sarcastic when it comes to FAQs, but then again, you knew that about me already didn't you?

Kai Kiriyama is currently driving herself mad by attempting to make up from a 200,000 word deficit in a persona competition she has going on during NaNoWriMo. As always, she is a geek at heart and up for a chat.
Email questions, comments, or shoutouts to: thekiriyamaheir@gmail.com
Follow Kai on Twitter: @thekiriyamaheir
Find Kai on Facebook under: Author: Kai Kiriyama

Monday, November 21, 2011

NaNo book 2: Excerpt

Invasion of Babseth

Prologue: Somewhere, Across the Sea...

The continent of Alenora boasted the most beautiful, elaborate landscape. It was a continent divided into cities and territories but each got along fairly well with the next. Alenora was home to the most advanced and civilized of all cities.

The Ten Cities, as they were known throughout the world, were the civilizations of Man. The cities stretched out from east to west in a snaking line. Here was where the non-magical race of Man made their homes, made their history and made their lives.

But there were other civilizations throughout the world. The Jewel and Ink Islands for starters. Distant shores across the Western Sea from Alenora that boasted their own cultures and their own people. The Western sea was also the barrier between Alenora and the so-called less civilized continent of Dallu. Dallu was a harbour for those who wished to escape the law. The home of pirates and prisoners, anyone caught breaking the law was sent to the smaller continent from all over the world. It was a worse hive of villainy than Tarun of the Ten Cities. It lay in the middle of the Western Sea, directly between Alenora and Khahana. It was in irregular shape for a continent, and legend had it that an army of dragons hailing from Alenora and an army of Sea serpents and Leviathans from Khahana once fought a terrible battle. The rapid cooling of the dragon fire and the heavy losses on both sides were what created the lush, tropical island in the center of the ocean. It was a perilous journey to get to Dallu, and only the bravest Captains dared to go there. It was the most common play place of the pirate factions.

The pirate factions were legendary in the Western Sea and beyond. Everyone knew that they existed and all of the seaport towns and cities feared the raiding parties of each faction. The Factions hailed from all four corners of the globe, each laying claim to their quadrant. The savage men from the North, clad in their furs and leather, the exotic men from the South, their skin bronze and their hair as black as oil, seen usually without their shirts on, clad in the skins of animals never seen above the equator. The Eastern pirates were silent killers, assassins of the sea, they fought with honour above all else. And then there were the Western pirates. They were the worst of all, pillaging and raiding more than the Northmen, killing anyone who got in their way. They were godless barbarians, outcasts from the Ten Cities who showed no mercy to their victims. The Western pirates had no leader. They were, in reality, several smaller factions who would band together under one flag when they needed to, but otherwise they were the most lawless of them all.
Infighting was common among the factions of the pirates. Disputes always arose over claims to territory. If a pirate from the South moved too far over the boundaries for the tastes of the Northmen, they would fight. If the Eastern pirates tried to break it up, or travelled too far past Dallu, someone would be there to stop them. The miniature Western factions always fought amongst themselves, claiming ships and bounties and people for their own ends, captains killed captains and no one claimed to lead them.

Finally, one industrious pirate by the name of Captain Lucius Mercy stepped forward. He was a charismatic man, six foot tall, beautiful pearly white teeth, long black flowing hair. He was the essence of beauty on the high seas. He watched the fighting from a distance. He never saw the need to engage in petty squabbles with the other pirates. He was his own man and if he chose not to fight or take sides, then he would certainly be there without question to pick up the scraps.

One day, Captain Mercy decided to call a Parley of all the pirates. He sent word to all the pirates to meet him in Dallu in Cutthroat Bay on the full moon of the fourth month. He waited patiently, amassing a feast of wines and foods from all over the globe and made sure that he had brought in enough slave women and whores to satisfy the needs of the horde of pirates that he was calling.

As the sun set, the final ships were docking and the Captains of every ship were assembled. Captain Mercy sat at a high table, overlooking the gathering group below him. There were pirates from all over the world amassing there, the ships in Cutthroat Bay ranged from the huge warships from the North, to the tiny little skiffs of the East and everything in between. The ships of the Northern faction were sturdy beasts made of thick oak with hellish depictions of snarling dogs and bears on their prows. The sides of the ships had slots where oars would be lowered for additional speed when the huge red and white sails weren't enough. They all sailed under the flag of captain Jeran Higg: a red flag with a snow white wolf in the center. The Ships from the South were narrow, built for trading not fighting. They were made of a golden kind of wood and they gleamed like bronze in the sunlight. The Southern pirates were led by Captain Kerne and they sailed under the black flag with the golden sun. The Eastern ships were black and small and quick, made for precision striking at their enemies. They all bore the heads of dragons on their prows, and Captain Tariq took a coiled dragon on a golden flag as his symbol. Comparably, the ships of the West were a mottled, mixed bunch. Everything from trading galleys to massive flagships meant for cargo and crew. No one sailed under a single flag unless they were a part of a fleet, but there were only two fleets in the entire Western Faction; one belonged to Captain Mercy and sailed under the symbol of his seahorse and the other were the broken hearts of Captain Valentine.

The pirates began to mingle, crews dining together under the rules of Parley and the Captains began to approach Captain Mercy's place of honour as serving women milled about, filling goblets and serving food as they saw fit. A pirate's feast was never without entertainment and some men had appetites for more than wine and meat and fruit. Captain Mercy had anticipated this and had made sure that there would be something for everyone. Cheers arose from amongst the crews as they supped together, helping themselves to whatever they wanted and setting aside grudges that would be brought to fresh light as soon as they were away from the island.

“Hey, Mercy!” The only female Captain called out. “How come you never bring any servant men for me? A woman has her needs too you know!”

A hearty laugh at Captain Mercy's expense rippled through the group of equals and Mercy jumped down from his place of self-proclaimed honour. There were only a few Captains in the factions who were worth talking to, most of them were lesser captains, members of the two Western fleet who served on one of the ships, or the Captains of smaller ships who would sail under one of the two fleet's flags if they were called for.

All but one of the assembled captains were men and Captain Mercy could name each one and the name of his ship, but they were all men. They were rowdy and bawdy and wouldn't know the lap of luxury had they been born into it. They were rough, ill mannered and unimpressive to Captain Mercy. They would remember the slight to Captain Mercy for ages, pointing out that the Captain didn't know how to please a woman. It was a scathing comment but Captain Mercy would endure. The Lady Captain had her own reputation, after all.

He ignored the other captains and their jest. Captain Mercy walked right up to the only woman captain and bowed, lifting her hand to his mouth to kiss it.

“Why Lady Chiara.” Captain Mercy said sensually. “I had thought that a woman of such unequalled beauty would only want the finest man on the seven seas.” He stood up with a twinkle in his clear blue eyes. “I've saved myself for you.”

His jest caused the Lady Captain to blush furiously and the other men laughed at her expense. It was a fierce rivalry known to all the pirate factions that went on between Captains Mercy and Valentine. No one knew better what a well-placed comment could do to ones reputation. The only lucky thing that stayed Valentine's cutlass was the fact that they were there under invitation by Captain Mercy and that they rules of Parley dictated that it be a violence-free evening.

Captain Mercy leaned in close to Chiara and whispered. “I say it in jest, but you know that you find me irresistible. I have only had eyes for you, Chiara, and I would do anything to make you mine.”

Chiara backed away from him and said nothing. She was nearly as tall as he was, but with hair the colour of summer wheat and unsettling amber eyes. Chiara Valentine was lithe and graceful, the rumours said that she had the blood of the Elves in her, but no one ever confirmed it, Chiara least of all. She was from the West, like Lucius, and had grown up as a captive on a ship. She eventually learned her way around a sword and a blunderbuss and overthrew the former Captain. She commanded the fastest ship in the West, aptly named The Lady's Tears.

The huge Northman, Jeran Higg stepped up beside the lady captain and offered her his arm. She took it hesitantly, she would do anything to avoid looking like a weak and helpless woman. The tall, strange Northman escorted her to a seat at the table of honour set half a step below Captain Mercy's high seat. He sat down next to her and the other captains and faction leaders followed suit. When everyone was seated, Captain Mercy took his seat once again. And the servants brought the captains there meals.

Food and wine was passed around and the Captains ate together, sharing stories of victory and defeat amongst themselves. When food was being cleared away and many of the pirates were beginning to get rowdy, Lucius Mercy smiled at Captain Valentine and clapped his hands, causing an instant silence amongst the chattering, laughing pirate horde before him. “My friends, my esteemed enemies.” He called out. “For too long we have fought amongst ourselves. For too long the bounties and splendours of the realm have been divided unfairly amongst us. We are poorer alone then we could be together. What I am proposing tonight is not for the faint of heart. No, what I am proposing is unheard of in all the history of our world.” Lucius cast his glimmering blue eyes over the assembled crowd, drinking in their silence, their anticipation.

“I am proposing that we unite, under one flag, under one name to take the greatest plunder that the entire world has to offer?”

“Really?” Captain Jeran Higg retorted. He was a burly man, the leader of the Northern faction, and his voice boomed and echoed across the open expanse of the island. “And what, pray tell, is your great plunder?”

Captain Mercy smiled his attractive, perfect smile and let the suspense build amongst the pirates for just long enough to make them truly curious.

“I propose that we take an entire city.”

Friday, November 11, 2011

The 11,111 challenge

So since today is 11-11-11, there was a challenge posted on the NaNoWriMo forums. It was literally to write 11,111 words to commemorate the binary date.

I'm nowhere near the goal. And I very likely won't make it before midnight.

On the plus side, I am nearly finished my first NaNoWriMo book for this year. Since it's so early, I am planning to write at least one other, maybe two, depending on how fast I can write.

I have been in competition with another Wrimo, another participant of NaNoWriMo. I am currently behind. But she is a robot, I'm sure of it. I'm having a very difficult time catching up to her, even though I'm only 21,000 words behind. I say only because it makes me feel better about my deficiencies.

I know that it is not about competing with another person, that the goal of NaNoWriMo is to force you to take those words and write them, but I feel like I need to validate myself by comparing myself to this other person. Besides, I have a lot of free time on my hands right now. What else am I gonna do? Ha ha!

So I probably won't beat the 11-11-11 challenge, which is a shame because I am letting myself down. However, I did actually finish that first book, so that's something to be proud of right?

Love,
Kai Kiriyama

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

NaNo Blog 2: Overachiever

Well, this is a first.

I have finished my 50 k NaNoWriMo goal in 7 days. Usually I'm way behind or just towing the line and sticking around the average word count to keep afloat and to make it to the 50k mark by the end of the month. My chart stagnates and spikes, but I usually have a major comeback from behind at the end of the month.

So today I finished the 50k goal.

My wrists really hurt and I really wanna go to sleep but at the same time I'm really buzzed. My novel isn't done but I have reached the 50k. I'm really excited because I still have a lot to write about and a lot to say in the story and I am still loving it. I love my characters, I love my plot, I love the story.

But I'm rambling.

The point is that it is attainable. I feel kind of bad now for reaching the 50k mark so quickly (I am in a personal war with several other NaNo participants, so I have set my sights rather high.) when I am usually one of the ones behind in my word count. I really do hope that I can inspire, however. And be there to help and to cheer on others who are having trouble crossing that 50,000 word finish line.

So here's to me and my current achievement and here's an even bigger one to you, no matter where you are in your NaNoWriMo journey. You can do it and I am here for you in whatever supporting role I can provide.

Let's finish the month together and let's go out with a bang!

All my love,
Kai Kiriyama

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

NaNoBlog 1: Riding the High

Awesome! It's November. You know what that means?

That's right, it means that I'm gonna grow a beard.

...No wait, that's not right... Oh yeah, I remember! It's National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. You can find their website at www.nanowrimo.org and can learn more about it there. Basically, NaNoWriMo (NaNo for short) is a challenge for anyone who is or wants to be a writer to write a 50,000 word novel in a month.

Sounds crazy, but it's totally achievable.

Basically you only need to write 1667 words every day for 30 consecutive days to have a first draft of a novel completed. Makes it seem more attainable, doesn't it?

Okay, so now that I've got that out of the way, it still seems insane. Which it probably is. But in a good way. You now have motivation to write that story you've been wanting to write for months or weeks or years. So now is your chance. But what happens when you start?

Oh trust me, you will be pumped. Or nervous. Or both.

Relax a little, everything is going to be fine. Don't get discouraged. You have to remember that NaNoWriMo is about quantity not quality. Just get those words out of your brain. Editing comes later.

So you've started to write your story now. Feels good, doesn't it? If you're lucky, you won't have too many distractions. Believe me when I say that once you start to get those words out, and get those creative juices flowing, you won't want to stop.

Ride that high. It won't last all month. Take this elated time to write as much as you possibly can. Trust me, getting ahead in the first few days will make staying ahead in the next few weeks a lot easier.

Then there are all the support groups online and in person. I live in the YYC area, which is awesome because we have meet-ups to do writing. There is food (because it's always at a restaurant, or sometimes, a library) and friendly people in the same ridiculous boat as you. And we have miniature contests to see who can write the most words in a set amount of time. It's all rather enjoyable.

And then there's caffeine.

You might not feel like you need it yet, but trust me, after a few days you'll want it. (Or whatever stimulant you usually use, like coffee, tea, chocolate etc.)

So I guess in conclusion, I'm trying to tell you to ride the high you'll feel in the first few days. I know I am. It's pretty fantastic.

Happy writing everyone!


Kai Kiriyama is a writer and a generally geeky girl. She likes to read books by the fire and playing Pokemon on her DS. She invites everyone to friend her on the NaNoWriMo forums, her user name is KaliYuga. She also has a blog which she is attempting to keep updated and you can find it at thekiriyamaheir.blogspot.com she also has a youtube channel which she hoped will be updated with a video blog on her life during NaNo, her channel is thekiriyamaheir. Kai also insists that you find her author page on facebook (Author: Kai Kiriyama) and her twitter which is @thekiriyamaheir. There, no reason for you not to talk to at least ONE person during NaNo! Kai Kiriyama sends you all the warmest wishes and good luck hugs.

Centaur Rails (NaNoWriMo 2011) PREVIEW

Prologue: In the Beginning...
The world was not always this way. It used to be simpler. There was harmony, and balance. But the humans began to grow weary of seeing what the other races could do. Elves had their magic, the Centaurs and Minotaurs roamed the plains as nomads, never stopping anywhere longer than a season so as not to worry the land too much. The humans, however, had very little. There was an average of one in a hundred humans who could use magic, and those humans were typically taken by the Elves to learn under the mages the healing arts of the Elves in an attempt to better the human race. Those who were blessed with only meagre magical talent usually hid it from the rest of the world or made a living by peddling cheap tricks and tonics, snake oil of the time.


Soon, however, the humans grew jealous and they began seeking out ways to better themselves without relying on the other races. Soon, friendships were formed between the humans and the dwarfs who had for so long been hidden underground that they had passed out of memory. Soon the trade began – leather and wool and vegetables from the sun for coal and ores. It was an excellent system, dwarfs began to stay with the humans for prolonged periods of time, teaching and learning. It was mutually beneficial. The humans lacked in strength what the dwarfs had, but they made up for it in cunning and intelligence.


The world began to change when the humans began their metalwork. Not only did they arm themselves with tempered steel, but they began to shod their horses. Soon, metal horseshoes and trinkets and jewelry became the standard for wealth. Soon women sported useless bits of metal on their wrists and fingers. The jewelry of the dwarfs was only surpassed by that of the elves, but the humans didn't care. They had never before been treated as friends or trading partners. Soon, the bonds grew as strong as the metal they forged together.


Evolution continued, the longer the humans worked with the dwarfs, new ideas began to form. They worked together to create not only weapons but new ideas. Taking the wheels and reinforcing them was only the beginning. Soon, they had reinforced carriages, reinforced doors. Steel in their shoes every day.
And then one day, it was accidentally discovered that steam from boiling water in a pot could push things. And this sparked a whole new idea. If there was only a way to harness this power, they could put it in the tillers. They could save their horses. But then, not even that, what if they put it in their carriages? Long trips would no longer take such a heavy toll on their horses. They could carry their horses in carriages powered by the steam. And then they could expand.

The dwarfs thought this was a brilliant idea. They began working with the smartest humans they knew and soon the word spread through the small homesteads, through the small settlements that were so densely packed. Steam carriages! It was a dream come true! Work began immediately.

Soon, however, they found this to be a backbreaking endeavour. The steam-powered engines were heavy. Even with the combined powers of the dwarfs and the humans it was difficult and dangerous. No one was able to lift the steel chassis themselves, and even the rigging they built could not support the weight with a team of men holding it. Problem solving was further needed.

The humans talked for days, leaving work unfinished while they tried to come up with a solution. Unlimited muscle was needed but where could they get the resources to undertake this new expansion?

The plains people didn't see it coming. They were at peace, in-between a seasonal migration, they weren't prepared to defend themselves. The humans took advantage of it. They struck in the night, like thieves, unseen until it was too late to stop them. They arrived with torches and steel and their guns. The humans were teh only race to use such barbaric weapons, and the dwarfs liked the idea of a revolver. The humans were a terror. They started fires intentionally, burning the few tents the Centaurs set up for those who were to frail or too young to keep themselves warm at night. They started fires in the grass, to block the escape route. The came in on horses, guns blazing and tearing up the night sky. It took but a few moments to make the entire area awash in chaos.

The biggest, meanest one of all was an average, heavyset man with evil eyes and greasy hair. He shot to kill, never to main or wound. “What good is a useless slave?” He claimed. He rode in on a huge black horse, towering over the rest of the party under his control. He carried two guns, gleaming silver monstrosities that he wore at his hips. He dressed in the finest clothes he could get his hands on, all smoke and black. He didn't even stop to let his men catch up. He was a hellbeast, bent on destruction and chaos.

It felt like an eternity for the Centaurs. They had no way to defend themselves. The screams of the wounded and dying were an unnatural blend of horse and human. The air stank of blood and fear and smoke. They panicked, trying to escape, only to find themselves on the ends of whips and chains and ropes. Children were left to weep over their parents' corpses, if they were too young to work, they were left. Anyone wounded beyond the simple were shot then and there, Easier to euthanize them then risk having them warn the next encampment.

“Why are you doing this?” The Centaur chieftain demanded. He was a muscular creature, a chestnut brown thing of beauty. He was wounded on his shoulder, the blood red and glistening in the flickering light of the fires. “We are peaceful, we have done nothing to you. And you come here, with your guns in the night to kill my people? For what purpose?”

The heavyset hell-man stepped forward, his eyes dark and dead as he snarled in the face of the defiant chieftain. “You are lesser beings.” He spat. “And we have need of your services. You live on our land and you don't contribute to our society. You eat the resources and plough the fields for yourselves and don't give us anything. For too long you have lived here, sneering and jesting at the weakness of the humans, but we will no longer stand for it.”

The centaur eyed this man suspiciously and took a step forward. A hundred pistols levelled themselves at the Chieftain. He didn't flinch. He took another step forward and the clicks of the guns echoed, threatening to release a hail of deadly metal shards.

“You have no right to us.” The Chieftain said defiantly. “You will not have my people.”

The heavy man stood his ground. “What are you going to do about it?” He sneered. “Die?” He barked a laugh. “What good is it if you're dead? Nothing will have been accomplished, you'll all just be dead and we will strip your bodies and your camp for anything valuable and move on to the next camp. But, you can come peacefully with us and you'll live. You'll work, but you'll have food and water and you'll live.”

“You have already killed my wife, and I can not see my daughter for all the smoke and carnage you humans have brought down upon us.” The word humans was uttered with such contempt that a shudder stole it's way through the ranks of savage, bloodthirsty men. The Chieftain continued. “I have no reason to live. If my death should bring about the release of my people then I will be able to go into the great plains of the heavens and know that my death was not for nothing.”

The leader with the dead eyes began to laugh, but he was the only one. No one else seemed to get the joke. His laugh rang out in the still ngiht air, the sounds of the fire around them a quiet punctuation to his raspy chortle. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean, embroidered handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes where tears of mirth had begun to well up. He sniffled once, dabbed his eyes and put the handkerchief back in his pocket. When he was comfortably composed again he turned his icy gaze back to the Chieftain.

“You really believe that, don't you?” He asked with a hint of a smile.


The Centaur raised his handsome head proudly but said nothing.

“What a waste.” The ringleader said flatly.

In a blink, he had drawn his huge revolver and fired two, perfectly aimed shots at the Chieftain. One penetrating his chest and rupturing his heart and the other dead center of his forehead. The entire scene semeed to hang in the air, frozen, like a photograph. The Chieftain blinked once, his face still stoically blank. His hooves skittered slightly and he managed a small step forward, as though he was still going to defy the humans. Then reality came crashing back around them.

The Chieftain staggered and his knees buckled. He made no sound as he fell, and as his body hit the earth, it made a hollow thud. A scream pierced the air and the sound of hooves thundering against the the ground filled the empty spaces. A rusty female Centaur hurtled through the smoke, carrying a fire-sharpened lenght of wood like a spear. She rushed at the man who had shot the Chieftain, screaming obscenities in her own language, and the language of the Elves.

The man didn't flinch, in fact, he held up his hand to stay the guns of his men. It happened in a heartbeat; the scream, the silent order for his men to stay their weapons, and his first two shots. The centaur dropped her weapon and dropped to her knees, her face contorted in pain and confusion. She pulled herself closer to her Chieftain, tears streaking her pale face. She didn't even notice the blood.

The man in the suit walked towards her calmly, refilling his revolver from the pocket of his jacket. He stopped just out of her reach and looked her over.

“What is your name, wench?” He demanded.

The red-headed Centaur looked up at him with a scowl. “You ask my name, but not the name of the man you just killed?”

The cold eyes lit up in humour. “I see no point in asking for the name of a defiant criminal. But it's always polite to ask the name of a lady.”

The girl spat at him.

The man pulled the hammer back on his newly-refilled revolver and aimed it at her face. “Should you like to end up like him?” He asked calmly.

There was only a tremor of terror on her otherwise blank face. “Better to die like him than serve a monster like you.”

A head tilt, a glimmer of recognition in his face and the man began to laugh under his breath. “He is your father isn't he?” He asked gleefully. “Ah, the stupidity of children.” He crouched down to look directly into the Centaur's face. “Yes, I see it now.” He smiled. “You know, if you weren't a god-forsaken monstrosity and a freak of nature, I could find a use for you as a woman. You're not entirely unattractive, from the waist up anyway.”

The girl lunged, forgetting about the bullet that had shattered her leg moments ago. A thick hand stopped her from gouging out his eyes. The man laughed again and shoved her down into the dirt.


“You are so weak.” He sneered. “Pathetic. You're nothing like your father. At least he died a hero. You won't even die a whore.” He stood then, aiming a well-placed kick to her ribs.

The girl coughed, sputtering a few more unintelligible words in his direction.

“What a waste of a beautiful half-human body.” He said loudly for the rest of his men to hear. “If she was an Elf, I'd have let you all had a chance with her, but she's a freak. She is one of our slaves. And she is a criminal, attacking her master like that.”

The assembled men chuckled quietly amongst themselves.

“You, you freaks.” He continued, turning to where the rest of the Centaurs who were deemed 'useful' were trussed. “You will work for us now. You are ours by rights and by conquest. You will learn respect or you will end up like this.”

He turned to where the roan Centaur was struggling to get to her feet and abruptly emptied all six bullets from his gun into her body. Her mouth formed a little 'O' of surprise and she crumpled to the ground next to her father's body.

The hell-man smiled a cruel little smile. “Pack them up.” He called to his assembled men, mounting his own horse. “They will have a few long days ahead of them.” He smiled again and spat in the direction of his two dead adversaries. The cruel man spurred his horse and rode in a wide circle around his group before rushing off into the distance, back towards the city where their captives would be put into slavery.

Tears began to fall across the cheeks of the captive Centaurs as they were led away, words of blessing and forgiveness passed their lips as they passed their fallen leader and murmurs of fear spread in their own language as they were dragged away from their homes, mourning would be put aside, fear was the emotion that gripped them as they cast their final glances on the carnage that had been brought down on them this night. The fires burned low as they were carted away, and only the carrion birds would be the mourners at the wake for the needlessly killed.

Tales from the NaNoWriMo Homefront: Day 1

So yeah, I'm participating in National Novel Writing month. It's a yearly thing for me now. It's like Christmas and my birthday and Easter and Hallowe'en all rolled into one.

Man, it's Day 2 now. Day 1 felt really long. Probably 'cause I went to the  kick-off at midnight, then we had a write-in tonight... I'm doing pretty good, over 6000 words out of the 50,000 I'm supposed to write by the end of the month.

I'm really tired right now so this is gonna be short and sweet.

The next post I put up (which is gonna happen in like 2 minutes of my publishing this post) is going to be a sneak preview of my novel that I'm working on.

I want feedback. Lots of it. If you love it, hate it, notice a typo, tell me it's tl;dr, whatever. I want feedback. I need critics, dammit!

So yeah. That's my story. Kind of.

Oh, I have a youtube channel now. It's thekiriyamaheir over on youtube. The first video is loading right now (as I write this) so hopefully that'll be up soon.

Anyhow, I'm about to put my writing up for all to see for real.

I hope to hear from you all soon.

Love,
Kai Kiriyama <3